Shortly before Christmas last year, my husband and I wanted to do something special to help someone we knew of but didn’t know personally. However, we wanted to do it secretly, without that person knowing who had given them the gift.

Even though we will probably never know their response, or how much they may have appreciated the deed, it blessed us to be able to do something for someone in secret.

In Matthew 6, verse 3 (NIV), it speaks of giving in secret: “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.”

Have you ever done something to help someone without them knowing it was you? How did it make you feel? Have you ever received help or a gift from someone secretly? How did you respond to it?

Amish parents feel it’s important to teach their children about God. An Amish child begins attending church with his family from the time he or she is a baby. At home, families have a time of devotions, so the children have plenty of exposure to the Bible and God’s teachings. Prayers are said, and Scripture is read in every Amish schoolhouse. Amish parents feel accountable to the Lord for the spiritual upbringing of their children.

Amish parents have an obligation to teach their children the importance of respecting others. I have visited many Amish homes and Amish schools, and have observed the children, and how they related to both adults and children. An Amish child is taught by his parents, as well as the school teacher, to be polite and have respect. While Amish children are not perfect, and they sometimes have disagreements with their siblings and peers, they are expected to behave in an orderly manner. Amish children are also taught that the Bible says we are to love one another.

Amish parents teach their children responsibility. As soon as an Amish child is old enough to understand and carry out directions, they are given small chores to do. As they grow older, their responsibilities increase, so by the time they graduate from the eighth grade, they are able to learn a trade and get a job. Many non-Amish businesses hire Amish employees because they know the Amish are hard workers, who will be honest and dependable.

Amish parents teach their children obedience. From an early age, Amish children are taught to respect and obey their elders. An Amish child is normally quiet and well-behaved in public. I have witnessed many times, while out shopping or in a restaurant, that Amish children do not run around hollering or hiding from their parents, as I’ve seen some “English” children do when they are not taught obedience.

Amish parents teach their children the importance of their heritage. Amish roots come from the Anabaptist faith, and Amish parents know the importance of teaching their children about the martyrs of old, who kept true to their faith, despite persecution. Reminders of their heritage are preached regularly in Amish church services, which take place bi-weekly in church members’ homes, barns, or some other outbuilding large enough to accommodate a large group. Many of the hymns that are sung during the 3-hour services are reminders of what their Anabaptist ancestors went through in or to preserve their faith.

Is there something special about your heritage that your children or grandchildren are being taught?

Amish rules allow people to marry only a member of the Amish church. When an Amish couple gets married they are expected to stay married for life. Divorce is not acceptable, and if an Amish church member should get a divorce (which is not nearly as common as among those who aren’t Amish) they would have to leave the Amish faith, which would result in them being shunned. The spouse of the one who gets the divorce would not be allowed to remarry. The consequences of divorce among the Amish might seem harsh from an outsider’s point of view, but I believe that knowing divorce is not allowed in their church causes Amish couples to strive harder to get along and work through their problems. Some, who are experiencing marital difficulties, will seek help through their church leaders or from a Christian counselor.

In many Amish homes, where a couple is raising a family, only the husband will work outside the house, while his wife takes care of the children and does the household chores. Some Amish women, however, run a business from their homes or in a building on the same property, allowing them to be close to home and their family, while helping with the finances. In the case where there are no children at home, a wife may work outside the home at a job in a nearby town, or they may run a business that is not on their property.

An Amish man is the head of the home, but most Amish women have an equal say in many things, including making decisions that will affect their future. Most Amish men share in the responsibility of caring for the children. I have seen many Amish fathers in church, holding their small children. Amish couples work together to share the load. Some Amish women can be seen helping their husbands in the fields, and some men help their wives with yard work and household chores.

The Amish love to have fun, laugh, and tell jokes, and this helps to keep their marriage strong. A good sense of humor can be a buffer during difficult times, and life is always more enjoyable when one finds something positive to smile and talk about. The strong faith in God that a couple shares also helps to keep their marriage strong. Looking to God for guidance, and praying about things can help a couple through trying times.

Most Amish couples have outside interests. The women are often involved in quilting, crafts, artwork, gardening, and many other creative things. The men frequently meet their friends or family members for coffee and to visit and catch up with local news. Many Amish men like to fish and hunt. Amish couples enjoy getting together with their friends for indoor and outdoor games, such as volleyball, baseball, horseshoes, and shuffleboard. Many Amish couples enjoy traveling and will go on trips, either just the two of them, or with family or friends. A change of scenery, and doing fun things together, can help strengthen a marriage.

If you are married, is there anything special you do to strengthen the relationship between you and your spouse?