The Sake of Convenience
In my recent novel, The Healing Jar, Jesse suffered a great loss when his wife died and he had trouble moving on. Although he still loved his deceased wife, and at first was not in love with Lenore, Jesse saw the need to move on for his daughter, Cindy’s sake. Jesse felt that Cindy needed a mother to care for her. He also needed someone to cook and keep house for him.
Can you understand Jesse’s indecision about marrying Lenore? Have you or someone you know been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? Would you marry someone for the sake of convenience if you did not feel any love for them?
That is such a hard decision: trying to providefor your children but still be true to the person you are considering marrying.
I don’t think I could marry for the sake of convenience.
I’ve often thought of the concept of marrying for convince or even arranged marriages. I know that they can work — but it must take a lot of maturity & commitment.
I agree such a hard decision and I don’t think I could answer without being in the situation myself.
When I was a child many years ago our family lived in State College, PA. My mom frequently visited an Amish community where they sold homemade breads and vegetables. When Mom wanted to buy something, she would lay her money on the table and step back. Then the Amish woman selling the product would pick up the money from the table and step back. I just remember the respect shown by each woman for the other. Thank you for your articles. I have so enjoyed them. Blessings from Loganville, Georgia.
I haven’t ever been in that situation but I don’t believe I could Marry someone I didn’t
Love just for convenience. I don’t think God would want anyone to marry just for convenience
And not love the person they were going to marry. It would be difficult to do.
No, I could not marry someone if I did not love them. In my opinion it would be best to wait until you feel it is truly right not only with yourself with God also. I have never had a spouse die so I can’t speak how to deal with the grieving process other than to put the who situation in God’s hands.
I haven’t lost a hubby so i couldn’t speak to that.
I would have to have some love for a husband, not just for convenient sake.
One never knows what the future holds so love is needed to endure any hardship that may occur. And faith in God is definitely needed, for strength, patiences, and love.
I could not marry for convince eventually I feel a person would eventually realize the unhappiness and no joy in their lives
A situation happened with my Aunt. She had ALS but did not know it. She met someone and married him. He married her thinking she had a different, non fatal disease. Unfortunately 9 months after they married they got the ALS Diagnosis. She went down hill quickly. I think I’m her heart she knew it was bad prior to marrying him. As she was raising her Grandson, I truly she believed she married him to have someone to help take care of her. She was scared. When the true diagnosis was done, he got mean with her, etc. it was so sad. After she passed last month, he got very crappy about her. I will never forget the way he acted at the hospital and after she passed. I just feel you either marry for love but not for help. It hurt to see him act the way he did and I know he got very ornerywith her. Marriage should be for love on both sides, not for help or convenience.
I love your stories! God has truly blessed you with a special gift!!
No i could not marry someone if i truely didnt love them. Of course i was married for nineteen years to have it end not in the best of terms. I see what happens when children are involved and have to deal with the outcome like that.
It sounds interesting. Hopefully the two parties in marriage of convenience stories get along. If they can at least be friends it would make things easier.
I have not had this experience nor have I known anyone who has,and with that in mind, I feel it would be inappropriate to judge one who has. Personally, I do not believe I could marry anyone who I did not truly love. I believe God has a mate for each of us. We must practice patience and wait for God’s timing as opposed to our own.
My grandmother got sick after my grandfather passed away. I have never been in this type of situation. I don’t understand why someone would only merry for the sake of a child having a mother. My mother left my father and I when I was 10 and my father never remarried for my sake. I would never merry in this type of situation and I don’t think it is a good idea Bc it be hard on the child and the person. I think people should merry Bc of love and love for each other. Family are made of love and compassion. I have never known anyone in this situation and I am sure I would handle it completely different. I understand the Amish ways of live.
Being in Jessse ‘ position would be heartbreaking but personally I would not want to be involved in a loveless relationship just to help with a child who lost their Mom. That’s a terrible ordeal for a spouse let alone a child. But a child needs guidance, structure, stability, but mostly Love. I think I would wait it out as long as possible and pray for a mate that would make both parties happy and be loved completely.
No I have never been in that situation or known anyone who has. That would be a very hard situation to be in. I feel that God puts us together for a reason and that we need to wait for that special mate. But we truly do not know what we would do unless we were in that person’s shoes.
I’ve never been in that situation. I don’t think I could marry just for the convenience. You’re stories are amazing Wanda!
I beileve that God sends you that special soulmate and there is never anyone else to replace them. You should love and honor there memory daily by teaching your children, family and so fourth the love and kindness that person had. There would never be someone to replace a spouse convience or not.
I couldn’t marry for convenience. It would have to be for love. Because if you did You would know they didn’t love You or want You for anything else. Also love is a sacred union that was put together by God.
I really enjoy your books. I would not marry just for convenience. There has to be love involved.
God has truly blessed you with your stories. I enjoy reading each and everyone I can get my hands on. Keep on writing and I will keep on reading.
I love reading your books. I think their are some men that have to have a woman. Women marry for love.
Like these other ladies, I too have never been in this situation or know someone who has. I guess I can see both sides and in years past I think marrying for convenience was probably more common as people died younger. I honestly can’t say what I would do being in this situation but I can’t imagine marrying someone I didn’t love. Wanda, I love your stories! They are an encouragement to live more like Christ!
No .I could not marry someone I didn’t
Love just for convenience.
I had an Uncle who was in his late 80S that married a lady that was in a wheelchair. They did this to help each other. I’m sure they loved each other in their own way.. Love reading your book and so does my Mother. She’s 84 right now..
love all your books and eagerly await each new one and read almost continually till it*s finished !!! … Florence
Love your books. I hope I would only marry for love but nobody knows what the future holds. Many things have happened in my life which caused me to take unexpected paths, so I have come to the conclusion that you should never say never. Lol.
Challenging situations.
I married a man I didn’t really love simply because I was lonely. The marriage only lasted 6 yrs. because it turns out he married me for the same reason. After the divorce I became depressed and have been alone for 20 yrs now but I will never marry again for anything but love.
I need to start reading your books and hope to win some
No, I don’t think I could marry someone just for convenience sake. Maybe it depends on the situation and circumstances. I guess one never knows until they are put into that position.
I love your books. You sure have a gift!
No matter how much a person doesn’t want to be lonely I don’t think I could marry for convenience or a loveless marriage! Marriage is a union between two people who love each other and intend to be there for you in sickness and health and for better or worse!! If God intended us to marry for convenience just think of how many people out there would never get to know what Live actually feels like!! Thank you so much for all your wonderful books Wanda !! You are a true inspiration!! God Bless ❤️
I have never been in that situation but wouldn’t marry just for the sake of getting married.
I knew someone who married a man after her best friend, who was dying, asked her to marry her husband and care for her two daughters. The dying woman knew her husband wasn’t a great father, and she wanted the peace of knowing that the girls would have a good mother. The marriage took place, and they later divorced, but the woman raised the daughters well and is very close to them even as adults. It must have been tough to marry a man who didn’t love her, but she felt the sacrifice was worth it because she gained two daughters in the process and gave her dying friend peace of mind.
My grandmother lost her husband to pneumonia in the mid 1920s. She was left with three very young daughters to raise. She had few marketable skills. She married her husband’s best friend. They had a daughter but this husband left when my youngest Aunt was three years old. They never heard from him again. Seven years after he left my grandmother had him declared dead so she could marry a funeral director who loved and took care of all of them until his death twenty- some years later. He was the sweet and funny man I knew as grandfather. I don’t think I would remarry if I lost my husband.
I could not marry someone for convenience. There would have to be love there.
I was married once. (He left for another woman.) At this point in my life, I do not think that I would ever find love. I would not think that I could enter into a marriage again.
I have never been in this situation, and pray I never will be. I could not marry anyone just for convenience. I would have to love them.
It makes total sense why Jesse had hesitation in marrying Lenore. He was in love with his spouse, although she was deceased. It takes a while for grieving and healing before you can move on with your own life. At that point, you also want to be sure about who you may marry; does this person truly love the Lord, and love me? It takes baby steps leading to a leap of faith!
I havent been in that position. I couldnt marry for convenience. My friend’s husband padsed away young and she did remsrty for love and had a wonderful life now. Haf she not found this man..i dont know how she would have the strenght to move on.
I have never been in that situation. I pray I never am
But I don’t think I could marry without Love.
I don’t know if I could.
There is no Black & White answer to that question… as life is made up of so very many shades of gray. So my answer would be maybe. There would need to be some level of caring, although romantic love would not be necessary. But TRUST would be required.
I could never marry someone for convenience. A home needs love.
I have NOT been in that situation BUT I will be married 47 years Sept 30 of this year….my husband is a critical care heart patient….if anything happens to him I am sure (but as they say, you never know till you are IN a position) I will not be looking for or hoping for a new partner,,,I’ve had a good marriage…yes UPs and downs, as we all do but no, surely would not be interested in getting married again…and NO not because I had a hard tough marriage….but because I had a good one and many times thought….wont find another as good as the one I got!!!!
the books look so good!
I enjoy reading your books. We visit Holmes Co Ohio several times a year…. such a beautiful area and great shopping and food ! I could not marry for convenience .
I personally would only marry for love and not convenience but then again I am not a husband and father who just lost their wife/ mother.
Seventy plus years ago my dad’s biological mom gave birth to his sister ( my Aunt). His biological mom died the same day my aunt was born. My grandfather found another women to come into the home to care for his young kids, infant and to Mind the house. Later they married and she was my dad’s and his siblings New mom and years down the road my grandma. My new grandma had a daughter so I ended up with another aunt and much later more cousins.
I don’t think I could marry someone for any reason other than love. But that being said, I’ve always said “don’t say never”! Honestly we don’t know what we’d do in circumstances that we have not faced. It’s easy to give judgement when we’ve not walked that road!
I’ve been happily married now for 50 years (in one month) to the love of my life, and I can’t imagine being married to anyone else. My parents were married for 53 years and they felt the same way.
I don’t believe I would marry for convenience sake. Who knows…people change.
I’m not sure I could marry for convenience and not love. But I can’t say I wouldn’t unless I was in that situation. If it were the only way to provide for my child, it would be an easier decision. But it would be hard if you had had that one true love and lost them to not want that again. I guess no one can say they would or wouldn’t unless they were in that situation.
No I couldn’t marry someone where love doesn’t come first. I have noticed people who lose a spouse seem to really need comfort and will settle for someone , just to have a closeness. I don’t judge but that still seems lonely.
I cannot imagine marrying if I was not in love. I’m sure that some folks do marry out of convenience, but that is something that I can’t relate to. People sometimes have to make such hard decisions in life!
I always enjoy your books. Can’t wait to read this one.
I am not sure if I could marry for the sake of convenience if there was no love, but, I have not been put in a situation where this was required.
If you put your trust in God and it is part of his plan to marry you may be surprised at what could happen.
I’ve never had a reason to marry for convenience, but I honestly don’t believe I could do that. Marriage is a huge commitment, and I believe it takes true love to hold it together .
I love your books and your husband’s photography. I don’t think I could marry someone I’m not in love with.
I love all of your books and they capture my interest. I could not marry someone I did not love. I also feel that unless we were in the same situation as the gal in the book, we truly do not know what we might decide to do. Anyone can say what they would never do, but unless they are in the same situation they truly do not know what they might chose to do. I love the simple way that the Amish live. I know also that it would be very hard, but not impossible to live the life they live.
I love the strong ethics that they believe in as I believe in being true to your word, attending church, leading ministries, etc. The Simple life is very interesting and usually all that they know. We are all our own person with different personalities. I try to always not pass judgement on others unless you have walked a mile at least in their shoes. I know that is easier said than done.
No I could not marry anyone I didn’t love. . I know couples that have been married for a while and then their mate got sick and they took care of them until the end and I have seen gem go through a lot. I feel if you know someone is sick and you marry them and take care of them then they are very special people.
Depends on the situation. However, not likely.
I think the being with someone you don’t love is painful and not fair to either person involved.
I could never marry someone that I didn’t love. My husband and I were married 49 years before he was called home to Heaven. Not only were we husband and wife, but we were best friends. I have read all of your books, and I have some of your cookbooks. I love reading about and visiting the Amish communities. I’ve visited several Amish communities.
I really don’t think I could marry someone I didn’t love. I think that would go against God’s Word. I have been married to a man I met when I was 13 years old and I told everyone he would be my husband and 5 years later, he was. We have been married for 48 years this Nov. I loved him when I married him and have only grown deeper in love with him as the years have gone by.
I love your books as they touch my heart and make me think about life. I have just about every book you have written. Keep them coming. You are using your God given talent to touch lives of so many.
Love your books. No I could not marry for convenience, but then again I have never been in that position, spouse past away and also having a child.
I could not marry without love.I don’t think it would last very long.Love your books!
My daughter is in a loveless marriage right now. They have 2 beautiful daughters and she pushed to get married to make it more of a family since she would have the same last name. Now she is trying to get out of the marriage and he is making it difficult for her. I don’t think I could marry without love and wish she wouldn’t have either. Have a great September.
Love reading your books. Can’t wait till I get to read the healing jar. Wish my library would get the newer books quicker that they do. I love all your books I have read so for
No i don’t think I would marry anyone for the sake of convenience, but if you think about it, women esp used to have to do this. Or they could not survive, esp if they had children. I love the Amish stories, but in our English life I am glad some things have changed (ie, women have more choices). Love your books, Wanda!
I honestly couldn’t marry someone I didn’t love. Everyone’s circumstance is different and who am I to judge? However, before a decision like that is made, much prayer should go into the matter.
Love your books! Have almost every book you have written. Once I get “The Healing Jar”, I hope to start the series.
May God continue to bless you with words to pen another touching novel.
I HAVE NOT BEEN IN THAT SITUATION. THE FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO DO IS LOVE & RESPECT YOURSELF AND DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. MARRIAGE IS ALWAYS A JOURNEY OF DISCOVERY.
Enjoy you books. When i get a chance to read.
I would have to have love in the marriage. respect also. love your books Wanda ,Keep up the good work. Have a great September.
I’m afraid that in this world there are too many people who marry for convenience sake for many different reasons. A sad situation.
I value love and friendship in a relationship so I don’t believe I could marry for convenience sake but I have never been in a situation where this seemed to be the only answer.
No I couldn’t marry someone I didn’t love. Marriage is hard enough when you have love without it I would think it would be impossible.
Can’t wait to read this book. Marriage for convenience may not work but God helps us find love sometimes!
i don’t think that people should marry unless it is for love, hard even then , but more so without
My answer is no. I can’t see myself married to someone just for convenience. I rather stay unmarried and leave everything in Gods hands that to live the rest of my life with regrets or unhappy.
I’ve never been in a situation like this but right now my father in law is going through something similar. My dear mother in law passed away in November .He would like to find someone special!! They have an adopted special needs son ( who does have 24 hour nursing) but he’d just like to have a companion to talk too, etc. God works in mysterious ways so we will see what the future hold for him!! God Bless you as you continue writing & sharing stories!!
My husband passed away 3 years ago and I miss him. To me that would be a hard de decision to make, but if it was something had to do I guess I would.
No. I have never been in this situation and don’t know anyone that has been. I don’t think I could marry someone just out of necessity, In my opinion that would not be fair to anyone involved..
Love your books I would not marry for conveince it would have to be love
No, I have never been in this situation nor have I known anyone that has happened to. I don’t think I could marry for the convenience. In my opinion, that would not be fair to anyone involved including and especially children.
I would only marry again for love. But then, I don’t believe that I could ever find a man as good as the one I have. Love your books. Have not been able to read The Healing Jar yet. However, I do have it
There would need to be respect and a strong liking. I can see the pros and cons.
I feel is better to marry into having love because God has said he will provide each of us with a mate n I’m sure we will find that person when God gives such time . Marrying for children just to have a parent isn’t really wise cause a child can feel such .Thank you Wanda for ur beautiful books love them so much .
I don’t think i could not marry someone for convenience.There would have to be love..Love all of your books!But don’t have the Healing jar.yet but looking forward to reading it!!!
I don’t believe I could marry for convenience. I feel there must be love for a true marriage, not just a “partnership”.
I know long ago and probably still in some countries people would massager marry for convenience or for family matters. I’m glad I have never been in a position to have to do that. It’s marry for love it just stay happily single. Hard to move on when your mate has passed and you still love them with all your ❤️
I”d pray and ask God to show me the way. He is faithful and true.
Romans 10:8-13
I can’t wait to read this book. I can understand why, but I could never marry for convenience.
No, I do not think I could marry someone for the sake of convenience. I don’t think Jesus had that in mind when He created marriage.
I am reading these book in order. I love reading about the Amish.
My parents were married for life and I always thought I would be as well. But twice I trusted the man I loved was true to his identical promise to me. The first said everyone gets divorced. And the second after nearly 16 years, left after telling me he had not expected to remain married even one year. My two teen sons were crushed. Only my loving childhood family friend was able to bless me and the children with unconditional love and we became family. He’s my best friend, and we recently were made guardians of the youngest of his previous step children whom he raised until she was 5. Her mom had married him for the convenience of taking care of her children. Sadly the ex-wife became ill, but he kept his promise to care for the last child. I always wanted a daughter, he had thought he’d never see his step-child again, the three kids needed parents, and God knew we’d all need each other. A marriage without love could not have held us together through thick & thin.
I am so excited to read this book. I was a single parent for 6 years, before I found the love of my life! God has a plan. I never felt I needed to be married to make a good and proper life for my son. But it takes a village! ❤ God always provided the path, I just had to follow Him!!
God blessed me with a great husband and so we enjoyed a wonderful marriage. But he suffered a massive heart attack when the youngest of our four children was 15 months old. I was a widow for some years. Then God blessed me again with the love of a wonderful man – we met in our church. He was in my life for 13 glorious years. He passed away only 5 months ago. We can never say that we would ever marry again after the loss of a husband. We do not know God’s plan for us. Thank you, Wanda, for your fascinating Amish stories. I feel a part of the family as I become so absorbed in their
lives. I miss them when I finish reading each book!
I really don’t think I could marry someone I didn’t love. I have read several books though that this happens and they fall in love. I think you can love anyone that is good to you though if given enough time. Thanks for the giveaway ‘
Yes, I would. I do not believe in love at first site. I feel love can grow. I prayed to God every day before I met my husband. I was alone with no kids, and I was in a very deep depression. I only knew my husband for 3 months before we got married. I am not going to say it was a picnic in the park the 1st couple of years. We had to learn each other. But we both are very much in love, and I KNOW God sent him to me. I have no idea what would have happened if I did not meet him, and I really do not want to go there, because as I have said, I was in a big depression. I was in a black hole that I could not get out of by myself. No one knew how depressed I was, and I was crying for help. I had gone through divorce, lots of death in the family, and a person I knew and loved — suicide. You could probably write a book about me! LOL Anyway, I definitely know you can marry someone and grow to love them, because my husband and I are living proof! Love your books, thank you and God Bless.
Marriage is a twofold agreement, so the 2 people must have the same motives for marrying otherwise it becomes very difficult to get on. And love covers so many things, without which the different motives becomes an almost impossible task, causing pain and sometimes betrayals. I have seen this happen where one party wanted to get married just to satisfy family, whilst the other felt it was real love. It ended badly. Even if there isn’t love, there must be an understanding of what both parties want, similar motives, and where that trust is, love grows.
You marry for love. That is what God guides us to do. Follow your heart .
Knowing in my life that God has a plan for my life. If marrying someone that I did not love was part of God’s plan for me and the person I would marry. I would marry that person. True love could be part of God’s love for me.
I do not think I would marry someone I did not love. I had rather be alone than be with someone that I did not love and care about. My beloved husband died years ago and I have remained single.
Would really pray and fast about it. Would need God to show me what to do. It could be His will to help for a season.
It would be heartbreaking to be put in that situation,to love your wife who was taken way to soon and to know you have to carry on and at the same time the love you have for your child is so very strong that you would do anything for them even marry for convince. I have empathy for the Amish who hold true to this custom in some communities and I believe Love can and does grow softly out of this kind of situation. I believe its a true gift on both adults parts to gift that child a true loving home.
As hard as it would be I don’t think unless in that position you can truly say you would never have a marriage of convenience. I can’t wait to read this book
i LOVE YOUR BOOKS. i WAS SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU AT hOLMES cOUNTY AND HAVE OU SIGN A BOK i PURCHASED THAN HAVE MY PICTURE TAKEN WITH YOU. wHAT A PRIVILEGE. i LOVE TO READ aMISH bOOKS BECAUSE THEY ARE CLEAN, RESPECTABLE BOOKS. aMISH PEOPLE FASCINATE ME IN HOW THEY RUN THEIR HOMES, RAISE THEIR CHILDREN, ALWAYS, ALWAYS COOKING & BAKING (WHICH i DON’T LIKE TO DO.). tHEIR TOGETHERNESS (WHICH i GET SO LITTLE OF).
tHANK YOU FOR YOUR BOOKS
I don’t think most people could or would marry another person for the sake of convenience. I can understand the need for an Amish man though. He has been brought up to take care of his family by working and providing for them financially, whereas girls are brought up to take care of the family by taking care of the husband, children, and house. So, I think it could work out in an Amish community.
Wanda ,I love your books
No I’ve never been in a situations like this. I couldn’t marry someone I didn’t love for convience.
I can understand Jesse’s decision. He is putting Cindy’s needs before his.
Marilyn
It must have been a hard decision for Jesse, but he put aside his feelings and needs for his daughter.
Joan
Joan
Jesse did the right thing. Cindy needs a mother and Jesse will probably grow to love Lenore.
Marion
Can’t wait to read this book. Love all your books. I believe Jesse did the right thing thinking of his daughter ahead of his needs.
I would only marry for love. There is no reason under the sun to marry anyone for any other reason. Thanks for this Wanda.
I don’t think I could marry for convenience alone. However, I’ve never been in a situation where I was faced with that decision. I can see where some people might do it even though I can’t picture myself in that situation. I do enjoy your books and your husband’s pictures.
While I can sympathize with his dilemma, I don’t think marrying someone you don’t love is the right thing to do. Marriage can be enough of a challenge without also adding in a lack of love. A marriage of convenience is not something I could do personally.
A good friend married so his young daughter would have a mother. He made a point to find and court a teacher as his daughter was already showing signs of ADHD. He wanted a woman who had studied children and would understand his daughter. That little girl is now a grown woman with children of her own.
I definitely would never have married out of convenience just to move on with my life. I divorced my 1st husband because he was again cheating on me (among other problems over 12 years of marriage). Suddenly I was all alone to raise our 9 yr old daughter. I had guys asking me out, but I turned them down, I wasn’t interested, no attraction to any of them, hard to start over at 34, and I wasn’t looking for a father for my child. However, by sheer luck, most likely God’s Will, I ran into a guy that I had dated as a teenager (for several years we had dated, but back then he moved to another state and we eventually lost contact, it was before cell phones, we had to write letters). When we met again, something clicked inside us, and we both felt the flame of our love rekindling. The flame only got stronger with each day, we talked about our future, things moved right along. We even were on the same page when it came to raising my daughter. When the time was right we were married, and it was definitely for love, not convenience. This December we celebrate our 20th Wedding Anniversary! My 30 yr old daughter considers him to be her true dad, we also have an 18 yr old daughter and 16 yr old son. We are Blessed!
I definitely wouldn’t marry out of convenience just to move on with my life. I divorced my 1st husband because he was again cheating on me (among other problems over 12 yrs of marriage). I was alone to raise our 9 yr old daughter. Guys asked me out, I turned them down, I wasn’t interested, no attraction, hard to start over at 34, and I wasn’t looking for a father for my child. Most likely God’s Will, but I soon ran into a guy that I had dated as a teenager for several years (he moved to another state, we lost contact). When we met again, we both felt the flame of our love rekindling. We talked about our future, and when the time was right we were married, it was definitely for love, not convenience. This December we celebrate our 20th Wedding Anniversary! My 30 yr old daughter considers him to be her true dad, we also have an 18 yr old daughter and 16 yr old son. We are Blessed!
I also feel like Jesse did the right thing thinking of his daughter needing a mother. I know it has to be hard on all of them. I think they can grow to love each other.
It would be a hard decision. I think if I had some feelings for the person and we were on the same page and could work together doing a good thing i.e. raising the child, I could do it. I think a common bound of love could form.
Ii wouldn’t be the same as the first but it could still be good.
If there weren’t a mutual desire to make it work and avoid comparions and lool for a new normal together, I couldn’t do it.
It was a hard decision for Jesse to make about marring Lenore for Cindy’s sake of having a mother. I have never been in this type if situation and I would personally find it hard to marry someone out of convenience sake
I have not known anyone who has been in this situation. And no, I don’t think I could marry for the sake of convenience. I want to marry for love and to marry someone who loves me for who I am.
I dont think I could marry someone if I wasn’t in love with them. However I have not been in that situation, so in all honesty I dont know what I would do if I was in his shoes.
There’s no way I could marry someone for convenience or because my daughter needed a father. Marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime, so if I didn’t love him, there’s no way I could marry him and spend my life living that way. I also think it would set a bad example for my daughter. Children seem to sometimes learn what to do from their parents. So I would not want her to think she should marry for convenience instead of love.
Your books always give me something to ponder. I don’t know if I could marry someone just for the sake of another, I really do not know how I would respond.
I can understand Jessie’s indecision about marrying Lenore. I would have felt the same way. I have never been in the circumstance, but I don’t believe I could marry someone that I did not love. It may be convenient for me, but it would be unfair to the person I was marrying. Everyone wants, and deserves, to be loved.
Very hard decision to make or even to contemplate as I’ve not been in that situation. I don’t think I could marry someone if I didn’t love them though. That wouldn’t be fair to them or me. My kids wouldn’t learn anything good from that either. So my guess would be that, no, I would not marry just for the convenience.
I understand Jesse’s indecision about marrying Lenore very well. I met a man early in life that I had almost instant love for, but he didn’t have the same feelings as I did. We remained very best friends throughout 41 years ; we went separate ways several times but somehow always found each other again. I visited him in March of 2015 & he was bound to a wheelchair full time & needed someone to help him with daily life. I gladly stayed with him & tried to simplify his life as much as possible. On my birthday in August of 2018 we got married in a beautiful outside setting & he lived until February 6th of this year. Our wedding day was also my 54th birthday & exactly to the day 41 years after that first meeting. I miss him terribly now, but I thank God for all those years of friendship turned love, the many memories we made together, & the stories I now have to tell.
I have not read this book, so I hope I win so I can. And this is a tough question.
It’s very are to know what choice to make until you face this situation. I couldn’t image marrying someone if I didn’t love them.
I think it really depends on how one is brought up – some people have prearranged marriages and learn to truly love their spouse and of course some don’t. Some marry out of convenience because they know they need someone in the long run. Me, personally, I don’t think I could do it.
I got hooked on your books a few months ago after reading “The Millionaire’s Son” and since have read almost everything you have written. I have been waiting for the 3rd book in this series. Have any of your books been turned into a movie. I would love to see them if they have. I am originally from Pennsylvania and very interested in the Amish.
With God all things are possible, who is to say what seeds of love can grow provided both have a common bond in the love of Christ. Many marriage have failed where love was supposedly involved.
I love reading you Amish books. I would like to win one. I like the Amish way of life. I have an Amish friend in Kidron, OH.
I could not or would not marry for convenience sake. It’s a lifetime commitment. Family is important to children but not at the expense of a parent’s happiness. I think they would know mom or dad might not be happy.
I did not have a situation like this before. I am glad they eventually realized they loved one another. Marriage is hard work not to love one another.
I have never faced a situation like this before. I am glad they realized they loved each other before they married. Marriage is hard work.
I would never marry for convenience. Thank goodness I have never had to face this situation. Love, love your books, I have a collection.
I felt bad for Jesse because he was a good daddy and thought he was doing the right thing for Cindy when he wanted to marry Lenore to take care of Cindy. But, in my opinion he wasn’t being fair to himself, Cindy, and definitely not Lenore. No, I couldn’t marry for convenience.
I think that marrying for convenience might work for some but it would be very hard and require a lot of work, patience and prayers.
How about STAYING married for convenience? In that situation now myself.
No one comes to mind who married for convenience to my knowledge.
Hundreds of kings and queens were in marriages of convenience, political or financial. The history of the kings and queens of France, Spain, and England are very interesting and you’ll discover a lot of arranged marriages, where the couple had never even met before their engagement! Some were engaged even as young as 5 years old. All in the name of money or power.
I don’t think I’d be able to marry just for convenience. Jesse’s situation was a difficult one, as he wanted the best for his child but also needed to be true to his heart. I’m glad he and Lenore figured things out!
There are different types of love. There’s the kind we feel as teenagers or young adults – but rarely does that last. And then there is love that is borne of mutual respect and friendship – the type of love that is made to weather the storms of life; the type of love that endures. When you think about it, with a basis of mutual respect and friendship, can love be far behind? 🙂
I have never been in the situation; however, I don’t think I could marry someone for convenience’s sake. I would have to marry for love! That being said, I do think Jesse loved Lenore earlier on than he realized. He just needed to work through some things. Although it was painful for Lenore to step away, I believe it was the right thing to do (and look at the blessing she had in store!) When someone is getting married, it takes a lot of prayer. In that sweet time, God will direct your paths, if you submit to Him. He will not lead anyone astray! Jesse and Lenore are a perfect example of that!
I guess it would depend on the circumstances of the situation. At any rate, I feel it would be a hard decision to make and one not to be entered in lightly.
Please enter me in your drawing.
Thanks.
I don’t think I would marry without love.May be in time I could learn to love him. Please enter me in the drawing.I met you last year in Sarasota. It was such a pleasure. I have read everyone of your books.I love them. They are so interesting to me because I have Amish friends in Pa. and Indiana. I just love them. Thank you.
I could understand why Jesse felt the way he did but I do not believe that I can marry just for convenience although you never know until you put in that situation. Love the book!
Circumstance would play a roll in my decision. If it was my first marriage it would have to be for love. If I had been married before and had many good years with my husband before I lost then I could consider marriage for convenience. Age may also be a big determining factor.
Having not had this conumdrum, I would say that at my age, close to retirement that I could understand the need to have someone to take care of children, tend to the home, and be a companion to a woman you don’t love. With a shaky future not exactly what you thought it would be can be a compelling reason to yes take on a woman even if you don’t love her…yet.
I would not marry that way, unless I truly felt that it was God’s will. A life of years without love would be a terrible burden, to bear, and I wonder if some people would ever come to have the true bond loving each other can bring. There might be hope of love to come, but if not, it would be like using a broom, just because it’s there, and never because you wanted to bless your family with a clean home.
Actually, I could marry for the sake of convenience, and here’s why: If I still had a child at home, they would benefit from having 2 parents instead of one overworked, parent who had no time for them. Of course, I’d analyze the person and see if the union would be at least safe and amicable, but from reading a lot of history, marriages were arranged in the past, and many great families were born from such matches.
So, I know I’m in the minority here, but that’s ok.
Romans 10:8-13; John 3:16-21
I think marriages for convenience are highly less likely today than they used to be in the past, but I can see why they happen. I don’t know if I could have done it myself though
I love your books!!
I don’t think I could marry someone for the sake of convenience.
While I would say I would not marry for convenience, you never know what you will do until you are put in that situation. Sometimes you need to do things that you never thought you would do.
I know I couldn’t marry without love and true commitment.
I was in that situation in a way. My first husband passed away at 32 and I had a 2 daughter that needed a father in her life. I started seeing a friend of my husbands and he became the love of my life. He was so good with my daughter and she know him as dad. It is a hard decision.
When our daughter-in-law passed at the young age of 27, our son went through such a loss since his baby daughter was only 6 weeks old. He did remarry years later but I believe it was due to love as well as loneliness.
I know I could not marry just to be married. I would have to know t had the blessings of God and my family.
Such a difficult decision. I can understand his line of thinking but am so glad he chose to be honest before marrying her.
I’m glad I was never in that position.
I believe that a marriage of convenience is not always a good thing. I would want to know that the person I was marrying believed the same things I did first and foremost.
No I could not marry for convenience!
I feel that if you’re supposed to do it, God will bring you to it! I totally understand loyalty/love/commitment to the deceased spouse too!
I don’t think I could do that myself.
Could not marry for convenience.
I have never been in that kind of situation, so I can’t honestly say what I would do. But it would be very hard to marry someone just for convenience and if I didn’t love them.
I couldn’t marry someone for convenience.
I believe a marriage of convince is never a good thing.
I could not marry if I was not in love with that person.
I hope I would never have to make that decision or either of our daughters! I so wanted Jessie to love her and then all of a sudden he did!! Love the book, just finished it a couple days ago!