Wanda’s Journal

For the Good of Others

In my novel, The Robin’s Greeting, Sylvia postponed her wedding to Dennis for a few months in order to help her mother, Belinda, in the greenhouse. Do you think it was necessary for her to do that, or should Belinda have insisted that her daughter keep her original plans as they were?

Have you ever set an important plan or event aside for the good of someone else? If so, how did it make you feel? Or perhaps a friend or family member rescheduled their plans to help you with something they felt was important. Did you accept their help willingly, or insist that you could manage on your own and ask them not to cancel or change their plans?

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89 Comments

  1. Yes, I have and it is hard sometimes. But we have to help when others need it. We may be the one that needs at some future time.

  2. I have set my things aside for others many times, because I am a giver & a helper! However, when it’s time for myself to need help, noone reciprocates. Lessons learned you would think, but nope, I still help others, lol

  3. I think it’s very important for families to work together to help each other. I have needed my family many times, and they were there for me. I remember those times and it makes me sensitive to their needs when I can return the favor. It seems to create a special bond of love between us.

  4. I always seem to insist on doing things myself. I even seem to say that to God at times.

  5. I’ve tried several times to get this book from my local library, but they do not have it. They do have the first two books in this series. I have read all of your books that are available.

  6. I just received a copy of Amish Friends Four Seasons cookbook. I also ordered a copy for a good friend of mine. We both love this cookbook.

  7. If it was the busiest time for them to make their living from the greenhouse then, yes, a considerate child might change her plans to a less busy time of year to help out. On the other hand, if the plans were already made, perhaps the mother could enlist a few friends or relatives to give her a hand. Have not been in that situation myself.

  8. I will always lend a hand when needed. I was taught to treat others as how you would like them to treat you. Even if they don’t do a favor in return, it makes me feel good inside that I was able to help. If I have plans and something arises, it’s not always easy to have to reschedule, but things happen for a reason and there will be another day for those plans. Family and friends may not be. Do onto others as you would do to yourself. Always be kind and considerate of others. ❤️

  9. During my Mama’s sickness of Parkinson’s of whom my husband and I were her caregivers, my dear Aunt would set aside any schedule she had to stay with my Mama to let us go for appts or just to get weekly chores completed. She’d always say, “I don’t have anywhere to be or little children to watch”!
    Not only did she stay with my Mama on those occasions, she’d pop in just to check on us daily. She always had a smile and hearty laugh which brightened our day. When Mama passed, she stayed at the house while we made arrangements and welcomed visitors in our absence.
    I’ll never forget her kindness, encouragement and prayers. She remains in my thoughts. She passed away 7 years after my Mama. I would hope I showed her just a bit of the courtesy and love she gave to me.

  10. My dear Aunt set aside many of her days and hours to sit with my Mama of which we were caregivers to let us do chores or just get a break. Her encouragement, support and prayers will never be forgotten. She was never too busy to help.

  11. I do not mind helping others, that is what I have done and gladly do. Loving others and helping when amd where you can is important for the receiver and the giver. I myself though find it hard to receive as I do not want to inconvenience others. I should take my own advice!

  12. I personally have trouble accepting help until it becomes so overwhelming that I just throw in the towel and ask for help. I’ve been in numerous situations where I have had to bite my tongue and ask. It’s really hard to say for sure when to accept graciously or just right out ask sometimes.

  13. Yes my plans have been changed for some things I had know control over. But God is good during those times too.

  14. As long as I can remember, I never had to change my event for anyone or anyone change their’s for me . I feel if it was a emergency she should change her plans to help her Mother and he should be understanding.

  15. I can understand why Sylvia postponed her wedding to help her mother, as I have set aside my own plans in order to help a friend or family member as well. It actually makes me feel good when I’m able to help someone, and I think it’s important to be flexible with our schedules and help each other when we need it.
    Unfortunately, we live in a world where most people are selfish and put themselves first, but that doesn’t change who I am- I am always ready and willing to help 🙂

  16. I have changed my plans several times to help others I am a care taker so that always comes first.

  17. I was engaged to get married when my mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I immediately put my plans as well as my life on hold to care for her. She would have done the same for me and that’s what you do for family. I totally understand what Sylvia did and can relate to it.

  18. If someone needs my help, I try to help if at all possible. It’s the Christian thing to do. The day will come when I may need help myself, & I hope & pray that someone would help me.

  19. I think everyone who has aging parents has sent aside many plans to see to the needs of the elderly loved ones. My husband and I chose not to move in order to remain available for my 94 year old mother-in-law. Still, we live each day to the fullest, and share many of those days with her. I find it to be a profound life lesson.

  20. I have willingly put many of my own plans aside to help my family and sometimes a very good friend without hesitation. It makes me happy, but not in a boastful or prideful way, just plain happy. It was the way I was raised, to help others and not put myself first.
    There was a time, when all of my family set their time aside when I desperately needed help to get out of an abusive situation. I am happy, healthy and whole again thanks to all and them and to GOD.
    I Thank GOD every day for my friends and family and especially my fresh start.

  21. A wedding is a big deal to change but I admire people who are willing to make huge sacrifices for others. I have changed plans to help others-nothing as big as a wedding -but I would hope that I am that type of person. I think of the word JOY-Jesus, others, yourself.

  22. Back in February of 2020 our house burned to the ground we got out with what we had on a family member a cousin’s grandson named Matt. He is a truck driver and was on his way home to spend time with his family for the weekend and he got the call from his grandmother my cousin Jan who told him he didn’t think twice but gave me a call and said he would be up on Sunday and he had already contacted his church and people had donated things to us. I have never met him before and he dropped everything and took a day he could have spent with us to bring us a truck load of things. What a wonderful man he is I am so glad to have him now in our lives I call him our life saver or angel . He didn’t have to do this for us or the people in his church community I think god everyday for everyone that helped us

  23. I have set aside plans to help someone else and continue to do so (for some reason, I have a very hard time saying “no”)…most time I feel good about doing it, but there have been a couple of times that I’ve felt like I was taken advantage of. It was my choosing to forgo my plans, so I prayed about it and asked the Lord to help me focus on the positive(s) of assistance/help provided and to have a clear heart about everything. He has always helped me see the the positive and I continue to say “yes” most every time I’m asked…you never know when you may be in the same situation and asking for help…

    Thank you for your recipes and stories, I really enjoy them and the journey they take me on…

  24. The thing I learned each time an event or plan was changed is that it was always for the best. Not to say it was easy or did not cause some anxiety. I, myself, often struggled with the decision if some other person made the move because I did not want anyone hurt. However, we always know God is in control and “this too shall pass”.

  25. I have not had to put aside major decisions in my life for others. When my husband was very ill, putting aside day to day activities was not a hardship to care for him.

  26. Hi, I have always believed in the power of family… Whether it was my wonderful family that I was born into or to the two sons I have been blessed with. There are things we change for the good of all.
    Thanks, Cindi

  27. It was very kind of Sylvia to wait for her wedding but at the same time her mother could of told not to wait that she deserved to be happy.
    I never had to ask for help and no one has asked me. But if they did depends on what it is I could postpone my stuff if it isn’t important.

  28. Gave up my 10-year high school reunion to help my mom give a party to my niece, whose birthday was her first without her best friend. We had fun, made treat bags for each one, niece loved it. However, my sister, who knew what I gave up, never said a word of thanks or acknowledged it in any way. Still, I felt good about missing classmates and such for my niece. And mom thanked me.

  29. I took early retirement to help my daughters family when surprise twin boys arrives. My daughter was homeschooling her teenagers with twin baby boys running around. I feel so good about my decision, as money is to pay the bills, being a full time grandmother is a position only I can fill for my grandchildren.

  30. I have especially for my children changed plans or even cancelled plans to help out with my grandchildren or my daughters. I am always willing to do so because families help each other through things that are sometimes out of our control. It’s truly hard for me to say no and put myself first.

  31. I love all your books. Thank you for also adding books with stories from your daughter in law and granddaughter.

  32. Belinda should insist that her daughter go ahead with her marriage to Dennis. After all, she has been through a lot and needs a husbandk and father for her two children.
    Having said that,
    I have set aside plans and I felt good that I could do something for someone else. It gave me satisfaction in the next step of my life and in watching the person I sacrificed for enjoy their happiness.

  33. The bible teaches to love thy neighbor as thyself. Sometimes that might mean rescheduling an event to help someone in need. Last year, I had to reschedule my son’s birthday party because of a death in the family. Helping out where I was needed was top priority. My son still had his party, just not on the original date and he was fine with it.

  34. ”””””””’I enjoy your books very much. Favorite day trip is to Amish country near us.
    I have not had to change a important date for the good of someone else — yet.

  35. Yes my mom put aside her Saturday plans to go with me to our local Amish greenhouse, Hummingbird Haven, in Lincoln Co., KY. She wanted to spend more time with our son and myself.

  36. Ive postponed and cancelled things because someone needed me. But there was no sense of should I or shouldn’t I..it’s simply what you do when someone you care about needs help.

  37. I believe in the English society it would not have been necessary. Possibly postponing a honeymoon but definitely not the wedding. But things are so different in the Amish families that I do understand why she felt it necessary. I have never postponed something that big but several times have postponed vacations or shortened them etc. for work. I felt good knowing I could help and was needed. But when it doesn’t seem to be appreciated it does make you regret it.

  38. I have set aside things for my loved ones where I could be there for them. I know they have done the same for me.

  39. I have noticed lately that my plans are ever changing due to the needs of my parents. They are 86 and 79 years old and it did bother me the first time I changed my plans but it doesn’t anymore because I know my time with my parents is numbered.

  40. I think Sylvia is her on person and if she wanted to change her plans for her mother, it was her choice to. Most likely her mother probably wouldn’t have been able to change her mind anyways.
    I had a very similar situation and had to postpone my plans for internship to make sure my mother was okay for health reasons. I was a little upset that I had to do this (though no one even suggested I do that) but it made me feel better to know someone was looking out for and taking care of my mother because she matters more to me that any internship.

  41. I believe postponing a wedding for a few months is a very giving thing to do. Yes, I have set aside my plans for others, and I am always happy that I did, particularly because I feel it makes God happy when we put others first. People have changed their plans for me, and I have accepted their assistance. It’s a great feeling to help others, and it’s also wonderful to receive assistance.

  42. I haven’t read Robin’s Greeting yet, but I imagine that Rachel felt she should honor her mom’s needs. And I’m sure the postponement meant that everyone could focus on the enjoyment of the wedding without the burden of whatever was going on in the greenhouse. I personally can’t think of an event that had to be postponed, nor of anyone who changed their plans for me.

  43. I think Sylvia felt like she needed to help her mom run the greenhouse and changed her wedding date so that her mom has help and this shows a great family bond and shows the Amish put family first no matter what. More families need to put there family first and be more understanding and caring. God will honor the sacrifices that you make for your family. In today’s day and age unfornately even a lot of Christian families are not there for there family.

  44. My husband and I postponed our long- awaited long Autumn trip to attend my brother’s out-of- State Funeral. Being there with my family was top priority. Now this year Lord- willing, we will take that postponed trip

  45. Yes I have set aside my plans in order to help someone else. God ALWAYS has a plan for us, so I do what He is guiding & directing me to do. Love your books Wanda, keep up the Wonderful job.

  46. I feel she could have kept her original wedding date and still helped with the greenhouse. But I know Amish weddings are quite a lot of work so postponing was probably best for everyone and all in God’s perfect timing.

  47. In this journal I have to mention that I have always set aside plans because of others. I think sometimes is ok to do that but you need to think if it’s the right decision because some people see how you set aside and /or change your plans so theirs can be done and sometimes people take advantage of that. Which in return you end up always doing that instead of them respecting yours and putting aside/ changing theirs. And then they expect you to do it. In this story I think Belinda was not nice having her daughter put her plans aside. It was a “whole” family thing not only one side.

  48. When my late mother was in the hospital a neighbor drove my sisters and I to the hospital.
    Marilyn

  49. My friend always drove me to special occasions that we were invited to. I do not drive ,so her generosity was greatly appreciated.
    Joan

  50. My twin sister helped me with an art project when we were in high school. I was glad since art is not my favorite thing to create.
    Marion

  51. Yes I have and it made me feel good to put someone else’s needs before my own! Love your books Blessings to you and yours Wanda!

  52. I think we all have opportunities to help others and to be helped at times. I enjoy helping others but sometimes it’s hard to accept others’ help. I’m trying to get better at that. I would not want to cause anyone to cancel or change an important plan. Thank you Wanda. Really enjoy each of your books that I have read.

  53. We lend a hand when necessary , what friends and family are for . Should we drop everything sometimes it’s necessary! Faith and Family and friend are all we have in daily walk . I’m know I am thankful for them !

  54. II very much read all of your books and would be very happy to receive the book The Sugarcreek Surprise that you are offering free this month. Enjoy your summer.

  55. I have set aside my plans for my kids. That is plain and simple a Mother’s love. People have been there for me in my life: aunts, parents, sibling, husband, kids, students, co-workers, friends, I appreciate the love and concern of each one.

  56. Yes I have and I have also had family and friends change their plans to help me as I am a full time caregiver for my husband with Parkinson’s .It feels very nice when someone offers to help.

  57. I had a dear friend pick me up at work on a snowy day to take me to me to a
    MRI appointment.

  58. Many times I have set things aside to be there for my family and friends in their time of need. I am always ready to help others when they need it.

  59. To my knowledge I have never postponed any plans for someone because I have been lucky not to have the two interfere. Unless you want to say when my husband passed away it fell on the birthday of my daughter in law and the funeral fell on their anniversary. I didn’t realize it until it was too late. I have read most of your books and I love them all. I also have some Amish friends in Ohio and they are wonderful people.

  60. I think Sylvia did the right thing by postponing her wedding. She (and Dennis) put others ahead of themselves for the greater good of others.

    Sometimes it is difficult to admit you need help, but when it comes, it is so welcome. We try to be open to the needs of others and help any way we can whether they ask or not.

  61. I have taken care of my father and my mother till their deaths and I do not regret it at all. I had wonderful parents and cherish the time I was able to spend with them.

  62. I have set aside things that I thought were important to me at the time, but come time find out, what I was helping the other person with was far more important.

  63. I don’t know if I would have or not. But I can understand why she did. But also was wondering couldn’t she have gotten married any way and still help her mother out? That was a big sacrifice on her part.

  64. I have set aside some of my time to help set up my mom’s craft shop. But also to help her get started by going with her to craft shows. Not put my blog and thing aside to do this

  65. Sometimes when family and friends have unforseen happenings, u have to put things on hold to help, because u never know when u may be in their shoes

  66. My friend and I always take time to help each other with our sewing projects. We end up meeting for hours and always come away feeling full and content. It is lovely to be able to rearrange my time for my friend

  67. I have not been able to read this book yet..but sure would love to.
    I have put my life on hold many many times to please / held others.. over the years I have learned to take care of myself first. I will continue to take care of myself first. If I’m able to help others I will do my best..
    Everyone needs to take time for themselves first before you reach out to help others.

  68. My Father was a very important part of my life. He always spent time with me and my brother and sister. Dad always talked to us , about nature and how to treat wildlife . How to keep distance from bears , and other wild animals. As a young girl , my dad, bought a used bicycle. He repainted the bike, put on new tires and a seat. And gave it , to me on my birthday. Dad was so patient , when he taught me to ride Dad took us on camping trips, fishing, hikes, picnics. It was so much fun , seeing new sights. Dad played road games with us. Dad taught us to be, respectful to him and our Mom. Manners were very important to our parents. Dad was always there for us, listening and giving us great advise. One of my favorite memories, was when my dad walked , me , down the aisle. When I got married. That meant so much , to me. Over the years , as I got married and moved away. My Dad would call me and come for visits. He loved spending time with our children. I miss my dad.

  69. Dear Wanda, I think it was very unselfish of Sylvia to temporarily postpone her wedding date to help her mother with the greenhouse. In my personal life I’ve had to postpone or cancel plans many times for the benefit of my family. It’s part of life. It’s what we do for the love of our family ❤️ The Lord’s blessings upon you dear Wanda 🫂 In Christ, Donna Hawks-Sweet

  70. I have set my plans aside before to help others and I’ve had others do the same for me. I have been very thankful for those moments and friends in my life!

  71. Yes, sometimes we need to do what’s best for others and usually it works out to be what’s best for ourselves as well.

  72. I feel she should have continued with her wedding. There are always needs that come up. At times I have set aside my plans in order to help others and other times I went ahead with my own plans and others helped me. It is a matter of everyone working together to support each other and help each other navigate this amazing life God has blessed us with.

  73. I have done this many times, to help both family and friends. Sometimes it was hard to do, but often it was just weighing what was more important in the grand scheme of things which made the decision much more logical. There’s been a few times that setting aside my plans to help other worked out much better in the end.

  74. I have not been in the position of needing someone to reschedule their big plans for me or having to reschedule my big plans for someone else. I have made sure to schedule my girl’s birthday parties where all immediate family (grandparents, aunts, and uncles) can attend. It felt good to make sure all of their closest family members could be there to celebrate their birthday with us.

  75. When we moved back to Arizona, our oldest son had promised to help us drive our rental truck from Missouri but he canceled two weeks before the moving date. We contacted our brother-in-law and he dropped everything to help us. It was an expensive helper but we felt grateful that we could keep our closing and moving date. We felt blessed.

  76. Yes, I have. Helping my mother. I’m glad I didn’t hold off my retirement a little longer. Retiring when I did gave me more time to be with her and help her when she needed me.

  77. At one point or another we must all help others and accept help in return. Sometimes accepting the help is harder than giving it.

  78. I have set aside important plans several times to be able to either help my dad, My daughter and my mom and a family friend. There are times when others need help and plans can be rescheduled.

  79. I think, especially as mothers, we often set aside things that are important to us for the benefit of our children. And I have a very difficult time accepting help from others. I’m just learning to allow my husband to help me with things after 18 years of marriage. Two really are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9)

  80. I’ve changed my plans in order to help other people quite a few times over the years, but would never ask anyone to change theirs. Nothing I need done is really that important anyway.

  81. When I was a child, I wanted to become a published author. I spent all my free time writing. As a teenager, I wanted to be a writer and a mom. After graduating from college with an English degree, I worked as a Grant Writer and got married. When I had children, God blessed me with children who needed lots of attention. My first child had physical delays and an amazing mind. He was reading books with comprehension before his second birthday! My second child was born three months premature, and she needed an equal amount of attention. I never became a published author, but I have two wonderful adult children (both married and happy!), and a grandson. I may not write books, but I do write book reviews.

  82. In the past my sister delayed her wedding plans d ue to a household members cancer. it was a very stressful and s ad time as care was needed for our dying loved one. I think it is a good thing to put others b before our own wants and change course if need be. What is the Amish proverb– Jesus first, others next and y yourself last equals JOY ? It sure does! I love your books and I would love the Greenhouse series In sure. It’s on my list . Thank you.