Misunderstandings
In my novel, A Cousin’s Challenge, which is Book 3 of my Indiana Cousins series, a lot of misunderstandings occurred in the story.
Misunderstandings are the biggest cause of dissension among family members and friends. If we are not careful, misunderstandings and differences of opinion can lead to quarreling, or even a permanent separation from a family member. Friendships can be dissolved due to false impressions or a misinterpretation of something that has happened.
What would you do if a friend or family member cut you out of their life and did not want to resolve the situation between the two of you?
What are some ways we can deal with misunderstandings that occur between us and our friends or family? How important is it for friends and family members to communicate well with each other?
Try to work it out with the family member or friend. Pray about it. Be willing to apologize if you were in the wrong. Be forgiving .
Try to reconcile because family is your bloodline
I actually had a sister that kicked the whole family out of her life. Even when she was in the hospital before she passed, my niece called and told me what was happening to my sister. I asked her if Mary would talk to me since she was right there and I heard my sister say no, she is not family to me..I have no idea why she did this but I prayed for a forgiving in my heart. She passed when we lived in Az and she was in Michigan and I didn’t have the funds to fly up for the funeral. I also figured if she didn’t want me to be in her family then I would not waste time for her funeral.
This happened to me. My two youngest kids (31 and 26 at the time) cut my husband and I both off due to politics (they were of the party of “tolerance”, btw.) My daughter reconciled in October, and it took the death of my husband for my son to reconcile. Life is TOO SHORT for things like this!
This has happened to me. My brother decided to cut me out after I didn’t use his wife as our realtor when we sold our house. I don’t usually hear from anyway but when his son married he completely ignored me at the wedding. He went out of his way to embarrass me. It hurt. I did cry. But the only thing I could do is pray for him and pray for healing for both of us.
This has happened to me with church family. I took the pain very hard and went into depression. I felt like church was the last place I should be hurt or cut off. It took a long time of God dealing with me to show me that I put my hope in people and it should only be put in Him!! Once I got that deep in my spirit then I was able to heal. It also let me see that people are human and the only one who won’t or can’t hurt us is The Lord!!
Always remember forgiveness and even when emotionally we are hurt try to practice true forgiveness
We have to forgive, we need to be more like Jesus, please dont hold grudges against one another cause in the end we only have one another, took me many years to forgive someone, until I sat down one day and thought “I’m not like jesus if I cant forgive”…love all your books btw
I would pray a lot about it. Sometimes we have to take responsibility for the break and be willing to reach out first. Even if the fault is not our’s we still need to be the one to reach out first.
Prayer is a key ingredient. Always pray about the situation and ask the Lord to help you and your family member or friend to be willing to listen and get to the bottom of the problem and work things out. It’s not always easy and can sometimes take years, but never give up.
My husband and I had this happen between his sister and brother-in-law on our wedding day. His sister said something very offensive toward us and when we tried to get to the root of the issue we were ignored. We lost contact for almost two years. Then our first child was born and we invited them to see her. It was a lot of lost time. We are all now very good friends and have vacationed together often through the years. I am so glad that we reached out when our daughter was born, we just regret that it took that long! I would encourage anyone to not let words get in the way of relationships, talk things out because you can’t get back lost time!
Broken communication is serious, it becomes a washed out bridge that might lead to the building of a concrete wall. Sadly, we can not force anyone to talk with us, but we can let them know that we care. Send a note to let them know you love them, leave some fresh baked rolls on their porch, do a chore for them. Pray that God will soften hearts and open ears so that the hurt might be healed.
Communication, to me, is something that is very important yet can be mis-construded if the two parties are not careful. Being respectful of others feelings and thoughts is something that needs to be done, but sometimes that doesn’t happen because feels and passions getbon the way. When this happens, I feel that utilizing prayer for God to lead the way is best. He knows what is best for each party involved and trusting Him to lead is for everyone’s best interest.
We need to look at others and try to see the best not the worst! I can too easily find hurt where none is intended. God looks at us in love, we need to let Him show love through us.
I’ve not read any of your Indiana series yet! Oooh can’t wait!
His,
Shari
We need to show the love God gives us and try to see the best in others. It is too easy to feel hurt when that is not what the other person intended.
This has happened to my husband’s family. Hid mom and dad had gotten a divorce after 40 some years. His mom goes and tells his dad stories that aren’t true and he believes them. His dad had a motorcycle accident and she thinks that she still thinks she needs to control him. It has been very hard on my kids this whole time.
Keep communication open,pray about all situations, maybe approach the person and ask if you can talk and pray together to try to find a way forward together
Pray that God will help all parties involved to recognize what caused the misunderstanding so they can talk it out and forgive each other. Hopefully they will realize that family love is an important ingredient for Christian wellbeing.
Try to listen to people with your heart and your full attention. Praying about the situation.
I guess you can call me a peace maker because I always want to see people get along life is too short and I just received a message of a friend of mine passed away and they were not speaking for some time what a sad thing to happen
May God Bless all and try to be like Jesus he gave his all to each one of us
During this time of not only Covid but all that has gone on with the election, PRAYER is so necessary along with trying to show love to those who think opposite of us. Your books are such a wonderful distraction from all the negative going on & with the audio books I can continue to get done the things needed while listening to them. You are a wonderful author.
Need to sread the Love that the Good Lord gave us. If it be with family or friends. Ithought is spread the joy daily.
Look forward to our libaray openinng so I cange some new books to read.
Stay safe one and all
Communication is key. And give it time. And pray, pray, pray. Give it to God.
I do enjoy your books and eagerly look for your newest releases. Thankyou and pray you keep writing.
I thin that wee can make attempts to clear the air with that individual an pray that the are accepting of that offer. If they are not, all we can do is pray that God loos after them and hope that one day they will be willing to make amends.
My Husband and his brother let a misunderstanding separate them for years and neither of them because of stubbornness would step up and apologies. My husband lost his brother and nothing was resolved so now he has regrets. Life is to short to continue to live your life in unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is harder on you then you realize. God has been so gracious to forgive us so we should walk in forgiveness even when it is hard.
I can’t wait to read these books! Thanks Wanda for always giving a good material to read.
Try your best to work it out. Life is too short not to! “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Although I don’t know why me friend stopped contact with me, I pray and send some occasion “snail mail.”
I love your books
Give them time and try to reach out to them after a bit of a break. Perhaps send them a nice card that shows you have been thinking about them.
How funny you should be talking about misunderstandings. Our minister spoke on this very topic yesterday. He spoke of a misunderstanding he and his cousin had when they were young. His cousin was livid and Seth had no idea why. He said he prayed before he went into the house that his cousin would speak to him. God works, he went inside and his cousin was back to his jovial self and offered him some cookies they just made.
Pray. Life is too short. Families need to stick together.
Be honest and be humble. Sometimes we need to hold our tongues and sacrifice “being right” in order to save a relationship. Include a whole lot of prayer for guidance and peace.
I would definitely try to reconcile with whomever was at “odds” with me. Pray before confronting the person. I would treat them with kindness. Send them a card and flowers. If that doesn’t work, I’d leave it in the Lord’s Hands.
I lost my daughter in May of 2020. It’s an unimaginable pain. I am still trying to cope with it. It still doesn’t seem real. She was a beautiful girl. Loved life and family. Love them while you can.
life is too short to not work things out with family and friends. pray about it and God will show you the way to make changes in the situation.
I am currently distanced with my deceased husband’s children. There was some discord before his passing and it got worse afterwards.
We were married 43 years and I am of the same generation as they are.
I can’t be who they think I should be and for now I need to let things be as they are. ?
This can happen to any of us. We should take these issues to God in prayer and keep trying to reestablish the relationship with God’s help.
The best thing to do is pray and ask Jesus for help and forgiveness. Sometimes you can not reconcile but you will always have Jesus. There are just some people that cannot move on and forgive. You just have to be stead fast in your beliefs and yourself.
In the last year, an extended family member cut off my whole family (parents, siblings, grandchildren). I’ve prayed about it and I still ponder about it. To this day, I have left it all in God’s hands.
I would pray fervently and ask for God’s guidance and then go and talk to the person or persons. I love my family and friends and would be broken hearted if something were to happen and they were separated themselves from me for any reason.
Following Jesus’ advice in Matthew 18:15-17 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Pray, ask forgiveness for anything you may have done, continue to love and pray for that person(s). We may not have a resolution this side of Heaven but, like everyone else says, life is too short. Continue in love and keep an open, objective mind.
This is the situation in my life right now. My oldest daughter has cut my husband and myself out of her life for the last 20 years. My youngest daughter decided to cut us out 3 years ago. I tried for a while to send messages, call, and text since they both live a long distance from us. All that did for me is add to my pain. They did not respond to any of my attempts. Now, I pray continually for God to work things out in His way and pray that they are healthy and happy. That is all I can do.
BTW, we share an important date. Feb 8th is your anniversary and my birthday. Happy Early Anniversary.
Happy birthday, Debbie. I pray that things will eventually work out before you and your daughters.
Love your books and love reading about the Amish way of life. I love showing love to others as God showed his love for us by giving his son to die on the old rugged cross for our sins. We can show love in many ways . It might just be helping an elderly person by getting their groceries,taking them to the Dr. or just a hug when they need it. God says love one another as he has loved us!
I have read the Amish cousins series and as I do all of your books loved all of them.May read them again.
I can’t wait to get The Robins Greeting third final book in the Green House series.
Misunderstandings happen often, because the people and minds’people are different.
the best thing to do is speak each other, stay calm and not offend.
we are not perfect, so all can make mistakens.
Misunderstandings happen in our daily lives even when we try our best to prevent them. Sometimes it can be from non-communicating with a person, when we should have. Life gets busy and we forget, but I try to remember to do unto others, as you want others to do unto you, which helps a lot. In case there is still a misunderstanding, I take it to the Lord in prayer, then follow His still small voice… He will never let you down, or lead you wrong.
Happy February! Communication in my opinion,
is one of the most important facet of any relationship.
So many times, miscommunication is at the root of
problems between people… I try to be honest with my
friends and family members; in a kind way. It isn’t
always easy. I pray about the relationships, and the
best way to handle them.
Many thanks, Cindi
??❤️??
Always be willing to saw you’re sorry and to work out any misunderstandings life is to short to let these come between you your family and friends. I can’t wait for The Robin’s Greeting to be released in March, I love reading your books.
I NEVER LET MYSELF BELIEVE THAT I WOULD NEVER GET MY GRANDDAUGHTER BACK IN MY LIFE I NEVER STOPPED TRYING TO GET HER JUST TO TALK AN UNDERSTAND WHAT HER MOM HAS DONE TAKING HER OUT OF MY LIFE AN NOW SEVEN YEARS LATER WE ARE BACK TO BE FAMILU AGAIN.
Prayer and loving communication are the key. Always show Christian love.
This happen to me and family. Love your books!
My brother and my parents are not on speaking terms. I pray that they will some day. I love them all dearly. I need to get this series to start reading it.
Most importantly pray about the situation, pray for that person. I have also found that even if we dont feel like we are in the wrong it is very important to ask that person to forgive us for anything we may have done that offended them or hurt them in some way. One of my brothers was not part of our family for 5 years, but by the grace of God all has been made right and they are back to our family again.
Always be willing to forgive. God always wants that. Never hold a grudge. We never know what someone else is going through. Always be there for people, you may also need them one day. Love one another
Ask God for help and listen. He will show you a way and do not cease praying.
It’s so easy to “assume” you know the situation. But a lot of times we don’t know the full story. Someone may be angry when it really has nothing to do with you at all! Try to remember to “walk a mile in their shoes” and don’t jump to conclusions. And definitely…pray!
If someone is not open to working through difficulties between you, prayer is the best option. Take any opportunity to show love to that person, no matter how small. Love and prayer can work on people to change them.
Life is too short and precious to let things divide you.
Misunderstandings happen even when our intentions are good. I am reminded quite often of the verses on how God forgives so how can we not forgive others. It certainly takes God’s help to do that. I try to avoid the comment section on websites, but as I was reading through these today, I was so thankful to hear from other ladies who love the Lord and share their feelings. It also helps us remember we all have hurts and needs and it convicted me to go down the list and pray for each one of you right now. Thank you Wanda for this ministry you are involved in.
I had a falling out with a family member a year ago after this person said some very hateful things to me and about my children. In my heart, I have forgiven him, but that relationship may never be healed. I pray that this person will again turn their life over to God. It will take that to heal it.
I would be very sad if someone cut me out of their life because of a misunderstanding. I would try to sit down with the person and listen to their reasonings, if they would let me.
Misunderstandings can be very painful, especially if the two parties won’t get together to talk things over and set things right. I always pray that we can come to an understanding and I always want to bend over backwards to let the other person know that I value their opinion, even if I don’t agree with it. The lines of communication should always be open and hopefully this will help to not come to any misunderstandings. It is so very important to talk things out before a misunderstanding becomes real.
Try reconciliation and strong prayers.
My husband’s daughter has not spoken to him for 5 years. The worst part is she has turned her children against him because she chose to tell them her side of the story. The truth is, she is jealous because he married me and my 3 kids 7 years ago, instead of moving in with her & her family. Her parents have been divorced for over 30 years. They are both too stubborn to reconcile. I’m sure it hurts him, but it also makes me feel hurt, guilty, etc. All I can do is pray for God’s guidance. It’s up to Him. And that’s the attitude I need to take.
Send them a handwritten card letting them know that you are sorry for whatever role you played in the situation and regardless of what happened between you, you still love and care about them and that will never change. Most importantly, pray without ceasing.
All you can do is try to make it right on your end. Once that is out in the open it is up to the other person to do with what they feel they need to do. If that is to agree and make amends or if not and go on with their life separate. Even if it is the latter, and that would be hard, it would be their choice. You had done all you could do to make it right and pray that load is lifted off of you.
I guess you could call me a peace maker because t try to get along with everyone but I know of families that have not spoken in years and it is so sad one family just lost a member and things will ever be the same life is so short let’s all try to be like Jesus God Bless
Dear Wanda, I have been reading your books for many years now and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Because of your vivid descriptions I have grown to love the Amish and their lifestyles.
When I travelled a few years ago I had gone to Lancaster and I saw the lush vegetation, my only regret I did not get to do the tour as time was against us. I hope I’ll get the chance again and also to buy an Amish quilt.
Thanks much for bringing reality to the Amish and the love stories through your books.
My sister and I haven’t spoken in almost 2 years. I miss her terribly and think of her often she is in my prayers and I know in God’s time things will work out.
Thankfully that has not happen to me, but if it did, I would try to work it out with the person, life is to short for misunderstandings to between people.
Family and friends are very important. If there is a misunderstanding, I feel it is important to be sure of what caused the rift and then reach out and attempt to talk to the peron/s involved and make every effort to talk through the problem.
My first action would be to pray. It’s so important to be able to talk things through. Sometimes we misunderstand what the person is really saying or they misunderstand what we really mean. It’s important to ask for forgiveness if we have offended someone and to be willing to forgive if someone has offended us.
I would continue on as if no misunderstanding had occurred….call just to say hi and see how it goes, invite her to lunch, send short emails. Perhaps something may have changed by these small gestures.
My youngest daughter has cut all her family out of her life with no explanation, its heart breaking. I pray for her and I’ve reached out to her with no response.
This has happened in our family so I totally understand what you are sharing. One situation was with my extended family and the other one with my husband’s extended family. It was impossible at the time to have any kind of calm conversation so we did not react at the moment but prayed and waited until Father gave us the go ahead and the words to speak to respond to them. We assured them of our love and forgave the words spoken and relationship was restored on one side but not on the other side. My desire is to be a peacemaker and to keep communication lines open. Love isn’t a question but I will not compromise God’s Word, His Truth.
I had this happen to me and knowing that this person had jumped to conclusions several times before, I decided to keep mum and just pray that eventually we would come to an understanding. Trying to explain myself was not going to be accepted and I just had to be satisfied that I had not hurt this person intentionally and that the Lord would have to “fix the problem”. Of course, He finally did but it took a few years and it took a lot of patience and prayer on my part to be ‘nice’ and loving during that time. Faith, patience, love and prayer!
Life is too short to not try to reconcile. Many times prayer is the only way for hearts to heal. We have to be careful to not shut the door on any opportunity to show our love regardless of past events. Sometimes little notes via snail mail can soften the heart of the offender or the offended. We need to be quick to ask forgiveness when we perceive we have offended someone – friend of family.
Please be kind to all family members. Thank you Dear Lord for you intervention.
God Bless you always.
Hello Wanda and Happy Early Anniversary To You and Your Beloved Husband and also Happy Valentine’s Day When it comes To Family I always ask the Good Lord To help me through things I don’t understand! I always let my Family know I Love them and I always Pray for them! I Love your books ! Blessings To You and Your Family!
I Loved the series of the Greenhouse,
I agree. Most of the problems in my relationships have to do with a misunderstanding. I thought that he thought or visa versa.
Things happened in our family due to politics. I couldn’t believe that people can be that way. I just pray for them that they come around this happened 4 years ago and to this day they haven’t come around. I’ve tried but it’s their loss I guess. I still love them and pray for them.
Hey Wanda hope you and your family are well and safe.
It does not matter who is right or wrong, we are asked to just forgive and move on!
Happy Valentine’s Day! Before I engage in conversation with someone who may have a differece in opinion I always remind myself and the others that God made us to be individuals and that also includes our thought process. Opinions and differences is what makes up our uniqueness. We also have to keep in mind that our opinions are not facts and that we need to respect the others’ opinion they are neither right or wrong and the same with you. Your opinion is neither right or wrong. If you engage in conversation where respeect is given to everyone you can actually learn something about the other person and their thinking. Respect them and love them.
Sometimes it is hard, in a family, to understand each other and be on the same page due to everyone having their own opinions. But, it is your family and you have to try to get to the root of the problem whether it means you apologizing or forgiving. You do not want to hold a grudge when it comes to family or friends for that matter because life is too short as it is, and it is not worth the precious time wasted on it.
My family has always been very close. Growing up with 3 brothers and 1 sister, you would think there would be a lot of misunderstandings. There were not. Needless to say, I was shocked that there would be misunderstandings between my son’s wife and I. Although we are, at this point, good friends, it hasn’t always been that way. It has taken and lot of prayer, compromise, love, and conversation for our relationship to flourish.
Let it go Be forgiving Family is all you have there’s no taking back the words or wishing it was different after they are gone. Live Love and share happiness. God is good and will hold your hand.
I love all your books. I have read a lot of them. Because of this pandamic I have had a lot of time to read but I would love to have your Discovery series. I have read the Indiana Cousins series and I love them. It is always hard when a family member disagrees with you but we all have our own minds and we need to be sure to always LOVE and respect each other and their opinions. We only live once and only have one family.
My husband’s sister has not seen him or called him in 21 years.They are the only family they each have left.I saw her at a local store and told her he has a serious illness to stop by anytime(she only lives 5 miles from us)but she never has and doesn’t call either.We don’t even know what she’s mad about.It’s so sad when family members act like this!Still praying.
This is why it’s so important to watch your words. Because once those hurt feelings happen things change and may never go back to where it was. Which in turn can hurt the entire family.
I did have someone that more or less cut me out of her life. And it had nothing to do with me. She thought another family member owed her $$. And they didn’t. And then she said it was my fault. It was just terrible. I even wrote and said I forgave her. Although she didn’t think she had any need of forgiveness. To my face she’d act like everything was ok. But to others it was a different story. I just chose to keep forgiving her. I was just worried about her salvation. Sadly now everything is ok between us but only because she has the beginning of Alzheimer’s. It’s hard when someone is telling others lies and some even believed for awhile. But I forgave her. And I’m sure God has forgiven her.
Grudges should not be held life is too short always keep in mind that other people have problems that they can not share to you …you can pray for them that God will help them in everyway …God Bless you Wanda for all the great books you write…. Especially keep your family close as possible …
It’s so easy to forgive but yet at times so hard for others to forgive you and that’s the part that hurts… so many families suffer and separate… but always remember God’s love for us all and that is all he wants for all of us… is love!
I love your books.
This happened to me years ago, my best friend started giving me the cold shoulder at church . I was confused, hurt and frankly couldn’t understand . One time after church I cornered her and asked her to meet me in a Sunday school room where we could talk privately. She had thought I betrayed her trust over keeping something quiet about her personal life . I assured her I would never ever do that to her . She asked forgiveness from me and a few weeks later found out who the real culprit was . She was so sorry for thinking it was me . We went on and had years of great friendship . Three years ago the Lord took her home after a lengthy cancer treatment . I still miss you Debbie .
As i have gotten older I try to just get along with everybody. Even if I don’t think like they do lfe is too short to hold grudges.
I think my first thing I would do is pray about it. Asking God to guide me. Then I would try to act as if nothing had happened and if that didn’t work then I would pray for more guidance. I hope I never have to go through this. Only one thing has happened like this. My niece won’t speak to me. I continue to send her cards, etc. But she only speaks to two of my nieces and nephews, so I’m not sure how to handle that one.
Thank you for your guidance in your books.
Everyone should try extra hard to love your family, friends and neighbors. I think if you make an effort there shouldn’t be a problem. Remember God loves all of us and we should love everyone.
This is happening to me now. I have no idea why. I sent facebook messages, texted and sent Christmas cards. They dropped their land line and changed phone numbers and don’t post on FB anymore. I pray and leave it at that
There are times when you realize that you need to create a certain distance between yourself and another person. I try to be as encouraging as I can and make an extra effort to be kind if I do communicate with these people. I pray for them and I pray for myself, that I would not let the distance lead to anger or bitterness. I also pray for God to show me any error in what I am doing.
My Oldest grandson hasn’t talked to me for several years as after going to college he decided he didn’t believe in God anymore and he quit talking to me. I have tried to no avail and he won’t respond. I struggle everyday with this.
It is of the utmost importance to keep the lines of communication open.
Marilyn
The parties involved should get together and talk the problem out.
Joan
The best way to solve a problem is for every one involved should talk things over to clear up the situation.
Marion
In the past, I myself and a co-worker has had disagreements, we would avoid each other for a time and that would ease my anger at that person, I would also pray that my anger would dissipate and we could get along once again.
My sister and I have been at odds at times but we always worked it out. I give in a lot to friends and family because I just can’t stand to be at odds with anyone. I just remember that the person is worth more than an opinion and agree with them, or just be quit and change the subject. This has been a hard year with sickness and politics and so many differences in opinion!
I have found that when you have a falling out with someone, the most important thing you can do is pray about the situation. Then when you can think clearly try talking to the person without being judgmental. If I am wrong then I need to apologize. Sometimes my pride gets in the way and God wants me to change my attitude.
My family has been very broken for a long time. After losing my grandma, my nephew got murdered and then I lost my husband to bone cancer, I had hoped and prayed we’d get back together. It hasn’t happened. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister…..they just don’t seem to care that we have no family. I’ve tried many times.
This happened to me and a family member and I still don’t know way. I tried several times to reconcile over 40 years but it didn’t happen. She lost her husband and I tried several times to get her to go out to eat and then all of a sudden she accepted my offer.. I still don’t know what happened and I don’t push the issue. It will never be the same but I am thankful we have reconnected.
This is sad situation to be in ; first we pray to forgive who has hurt us and then pray they will want to make things right and also forgive. Prayer is the key but sadly sometime it just can’t be overcome.
Try to always remember your family I’d the ones who will be there no matter what
I notice misunderstandings in my family is just the way the question or answer is replied to or asked most of the time you mean the same thing but just have another way of putting it and sometimes can cause a argument .
When someone takes something that another person says the wrong way and it lets it hurt they feelings! I have seen this done in my family where sisters don’t talk for many years even when they lived in the same town! I have found that life is too short and have decided to apologize whenever I feel that I misspoke or hurt any of my daughter/sisters feeling! I try to live as Jesus would have me, love one another as I would would want them to love me! All 4 of us girls make sure we spend time together and we ALWAYS tell each other that we love them!!
Communication is the key to any disagreement, but all to often we are afraid to tell the other person how we feel. Sometime we need to hear the truth and its not always the easiest thing to do, but if you walk away from an issue that is unresolved it will eat at you causing you stress and heart ache and leave the other person wondering what they have done. We should always try to put ourselves in the other persons shoes, not everybody thinks like you and sometime you need to give a little to make it work. Talking it out is the best way of handling it, and always remember to never go to bed angry. Life is short and we should never take Family or Friends for granted.
This happened in my family. I prayed and prayed. . You can’t ever forget the situation, but you can act bigger than it and still love them. It is not easy, but possible. This takes time.
Pray that they will eventually have a change of heart and reconcile your differences. Life is too short to hold a grudge and the older I get the more I realize this.
Many good ideas have been given, particularly about the need for prayer, forgiveness, and communication. I think what many people forget to do is – – – truly listen! It’s the other half of good communication. As has been said (forgot who said it) we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. So many times miscommunication happens because we don’t listen to the other person. We “hear” them, but we aren’t really listening. Hearing takes place all the time. Listening is active. We cut people off so much. We don’t allow them to finish their thoughts, which may be more in agreement with us than we think. We’re too busy thinking about what we’re going to say next. It’s not about winning an argument; it’s loving a person enough to confront when necessary, but keeping the relationship intact and speaking the truth in love. There are so many Scriptures regarding the tongue, mouth, lips, listening, etc. I thank God for the reminders He’s given me in this area, both in study, and in experience.
I would place it in God’s hands because he would be the only
one that could bring families back together.
This has happened with me and my dad. I pray for him and myself, but he feels I am to blame for my mom leaving him. She died 17 years ago but his life of alcoholism has been the factor in this discord. Mom was the glue in this family. Now she is gone.
Linda Clymer
I love your books and they are about all I read anymore. I started reading them about 2 years ago.
Bought lots of them. Some I was given by my mom’s church women.
I love the way you write. Your books keep me focused and they are like a movie I can’t walk away from. I’m waiting for the Robins Greeting to come out. I preordered it. So I can’t hardly wait for it.
Life is certainly too short to hold grudges with those we love, including friends, that are near and dear to us. We can never replace the time nor hurt feelings that might ensue from such a situation. Forgive and forget is my way of living, but not all people live by this thought process. Plus it is best to live by the golden rule, to treat others as you would want to be treated, which I try to live by. But, you must remember that not all people live by this rule or they just don’t realize that they will live a healthier life if they do.
Unfortunately I am in that situation. My mother passed and my niece sued me for everything in the estate. Her father owed a lot of money to everyone but she would not help us get the money and told us that Grandma loved her most and she should get it all. My husband and I had to pay al the bills that were acquired because my mother had given away to this family most of her money and so there was none left. It took us 5 years to settle it all and 250,000 and I can’t say that I will ever trust her again. Sometimes the trust that is broken is just to much to put aside. But, I still pray for them everyday and night and hope that they are doing well. I have released it in my heart so that I am not hurting anymore.
I know exactly how this feels 3 of my 4 children don’t talk to me after divorce and they moved in with my husband and turn them against me I just pray daily that God will come into their hearts and that they soften their hesrts to him. I still love them and text them. Thats all i can do is to be there
I understand all too well this happened to me. 3 of my 4 children don’t talk to me after my divorce. They moved in with my ex husband who turned them against me. I can only pray that God will soften their hearts to let him in and one day reconcile. All i can do is pray and love them and be there for them.
I would try to work things out.
I am thankful I haven’t been in a situation like this with family. My pastor once told us the best way to handle a quarrel with someone is to listen. Listen to what they have to say without interrupting and try to see where they are coming from before replying. Sometimes just listening and letting someone get their hurt or madness off their chest is all they really needed. I always try to just take a step back and listen to what someone is saying to me when I get into a stressful situation.
This did happen to me as I was growing up. I was given 2 choices as to where I wanted to go. I was a junior in high school. My grandmother (My Angel) had recently died and my world fell apart. My siblings would not talk to me and my parents ignored me. I grew up in the country. I had tried and tried for so many years (decades) to reconnect. Things have gotten some better but I do not have the sisterly and brotherly love that the others have. God has been with me through the years and given me guidance and strength to go on. God can help you through the worst things in life.
This happened to me. When our father passed away, my sister stopped speaking to me. She cut my children off also. We always were close and had great communication…..at least I did. I probably should call her and straighten out whatever it is that has her so upset that she pretty much “disowned” me.
Sometimes its just better to not have Contact, especially if its making your life unenjoyable.. You have to have your own peace of mind or you will be physically and mentally and emotionally sick.. Pray for Comfort and Compassion… I lost a very dear person who I thought was my Friend.
This happened to me I have not spoken to any of my family in almost 11 years. I have made peace with God about this and how I know I was wrong. I would like to reconcile but it will never happen. This was two days before my father passed away and I wasn’t allowed to his funeral. I pray for them daily that’s all I can do.
If a friend or family member cut me out of their life, I would ask them (hopefully in person) why they are upset. If they would not respond, I would send them a card, writing that I feel bad if I offended them in any way, and say I treasure the relationship and wish to reconcile. While I feel it is very important to deal with misunderstandings and hurt feelings, I also feel that sometimes we just need to let things go. If it is something that will fester if left unresolved, then it must be talked about. It is very important for people to communicate clearly with each other.
Forgiveness and prayer are always important in settling problems with disagreements. I don’t agree with my two daughters on politics but we get along well.
Happy Anniversary and Valentines Day!!
I am also praying for your dear friend, Ellie!!
Have a lovely Day!
This happens more and more! Friendships and family are tested everyday! I hope that if something like this happened we would all be able to talk about what happened and come to an understanding. Communication is so important to any healthy relationship! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Well, Wanda, this did actually happen. For a while I was frustrated, then angry, but then I asked people to pray about it, and I prayed, and posted bible verses on my fb page. I waited for years, but finally we’re friends again. Praise the Lord! Sometimes we have to wait a long time, don’t we?
Prayer is the key. Keeping in constant prayer with God and asking his direction. Be humble and ask forgiveness of anything that could have caused the problem. I love your books!!! Would be so blessed if you draw my name.
I would attempt to speak with the person and clear up the misunderstanding. I also would pray for God to resolve the issue.
I always remember being told on my wedding day. Communication is one of the most important.
I would write a letter to them and ask them what did I do wrong. Then pray about it and leave it in God’s hands.
I would pray that God will heal the broken hearts all around us. Family and friends mean the world to me. I don’t know what I would feel if they just stopped talking to me other then pray.
I would go to that person and talk to them. Apologize for the misunderstanding
Currently still in just such a situation, ongoing now for a couple of years. Details are unimportant, but prayer is certainly very much needed and most appreciated. Asking forgiveness is much harder when you are the one who was wronged! Still praying….
L I have never been in this situation. My brothers and sister and I are extremely close.. We had a 17 year old brother who died in a car accident. Then our father dies of bone cancer. He died one week from the day he was diagnosed with cancer later our mother died in a car accident and then we had a 44 year old sister die of complications from pancreatitis. Our cousins all tell us they watched us after all we have gone through grow closer and closer together. Now we call ourselves “The Four Of Us Against The World). I would try everything I could to reconcile with them as life is to short for those kind of differences.
Try to work it out and if the other person will not speak to you have someone talk to them and explain what you want them to know.
Over the years I have learned to deal better with misunderstandings however, I still don’t really l;ike them. Praying about them is my first line of defence. God is much better at coming up with answers than I am. For me confrontation is never easy but with God’s help all things are possible. Thank you for the sounds of horses hooves.
Bobbie Bulmer says
February 8, 2021 at 2:01pm
I have a son that does not have time for me in his life for quite some time.
I have prayed about this. Have to let God deal with my son over this matter.
For all things are possible.
Thank you for such a book addressing these misunderstandings.
Thank you for your books Wanda love them all
As a teen and young adult I believed I was a Christian as I had accepted Jesus as my Savior at 5 years old but I did not act as a Christian should. I truly didn’t have a close relationship with God mor did I truly know God. During this time my older sister was doing things that were causing harm to not only her self but our family. My other sister and I disliked our oldest sister’s behavior so much that we vowed to never speak to her again. For 20 years we did not speak to her. We both lived in different states so it wasn’t difficult to avoid her. Then fully began living for God and I could no longer hold onto that anget. God had softened my heart and given me a great live for my oldest sister. I made contact with her and found out she also was now living for God and not for her self. Over the past 6 years we have grown to be close friends. We enjoy studying our bibles together and talking about our families with each other. Unfortunately our other sister still holds onto her anger and will not forgive. She still vows to never speak to our oldest sister but she also is not in a relationship with our heavenly Father. She is truly lost. I pray she will not only accept Christ as her Savior but some day find forgiveness in her heart.
Misunderstanding can hurt if you on the receiving end. But honestly most people can resolved them by talking. I have cut toxic people out of my life and that includes a couple of relatives. Tired of the drama and them blaming me for things that I had no control over. They were told more then once the truth but other family. Also they were always blaming others for their problems. Alcohol, drugs, jail ect was their life. Sometimes you have to do things for the mental health that makes your life better.
It has happened to me. People I considered my friends and even part of my family believes someone else that was spreading rumors and we stopped all communication..well they did. The only thing I did was put everything in God’s hands. And move on. Someone once told me … That it showed how much of a friend they really weren’t. So leaving everything in God’s hands helps you focus on the ones that really are your friends. And you move on in peace.
This happened to me and they won’t tell me what I did, I still apologized for whatever I did to them and I asked them to forgive me. They still don’t communicate well with me and I feel like I am just a nuisance to them.. But I keep on loving them and being with them anytime that I can. Love and Prayer is what I do to try to fix whatever I did. I ask God to open their minds and hearts and to accept my apology and to rebuild, restore and renew our relationship. I ask for peace and patience in my heart and to help me know how to go about rebuilding these relationships.
Our son and his wife want nothing to do with us. It breaks my heart, it’s been over 3 years. When I couldn’t pray and asked my friends and family to pray. And now my husband and I pray. That is really all we can do. We have tried to reach out. We recently heard they are moving and refusing to give any family members their address. It’s in God’s hands.
I think sitting and praying together and talk about what is bothering us..don’t just storm off. We need to remember we are not always right.
Pray. Sometimes you just have to leave it in the hands of GOd.
Pray about your situation.
Communication is the key. Communication and love plus forgiveness. Once they are gone there is no chance to reconcile. Do it now. Don’t wait or you will have lost precious time with your loved one. And above all PRAY.
Prayer, listening to the Holy Spirit along with being humble and saying “I’m sorry” helps to diffuse misunderstandings. Listening more than talking can help to other to feel like you care, and will take the conversation on a better path.
I have also learned not to listen to closely to others opinions about others, they are usually going more on assumptions than fact. I am a Pastor’s wife as well as an Associate Pastor in our church. That is not always an easy combination!
Wanda, I have often spoke of your wonderful talent of writing. I have often wondered why in your ooks you do not put any picture when your husband is a wonderful photographer. Even if it does not have people in the pictures, could you maye add wome pictures of maybe stores and how they look in your stories?