Family Ties
In my novel, The English Son, Joel Byler left his Amish roots to explore the English world and gain modern things. By leaving the faith in the way that he did, Joel hurt his family as well as his girlfriend.
There are many reasons a person may move away from their family, but when they do it in a hurtful manner, or only visit when they want something, it puts a strain on everyone. Bitterness and strife can take root as well.
Have you ever been hurt by a family member who either left home for selfish reasons or only came around when they needed something? How did you deal with the situation? How do you think God wants us to treat wayward family members?
It hurst my heart to think that families don’t get along. I’ve been very blessed to have a wonderful family and no one wanted to move away. So, wayward family members are a no show in our group. I love your books! Thanks for your wonderful stories of life, love and forgiveness.
Can not wait to read it.
Luckily this hasn’t happened in our big family. I’m the youngest of 10 children, who grew up on a farm in north central Wisconsin. Yes, there were difficult times but we made it through them. Ha. I think God would want us to try to understand why a person does what he does and to try to come to terms with it, and still treat that person in a civil way – even though we may like like them or what they did.
I have a sister who only comes around when she wants some thing. We must remember that they are still family and help if we can. We need to pray for them as well.
Can’t wait to read. Love your books on the Amish Communities. I grew up around the Amish in Adams County Ohio.
I was mad at my sister for leaving home. It was not that bad growing up. I said some things that I should not have. I regret it. She passed away 8 years ago. The prodigal son is an excellent story to love our wayward family members by.
My father bowed out of my life when.I started highschool, and relatinships he didnt apprive of. We never fully mended fences before he passed 2 months ago.
Yes. My father left my mom to raise me and her two boys all alone. He was abusive and an alcoholic. I haven’t spoken to him in years. I want to believe that he found God and is making the right choices now. But he’s contacted me recently and I started to talk to him, I agreed to meet up for lunch so we can maybe re-establish our relationship. The day came and I waited in cafe for 3 hours. He had stood me up. I was hurt all over again thinking he would at least try, he could’ve even called to say he wasn’t coming. But I got nothing. When I finally got a hold of him he said he had a date and that was more important. I finally knew where I stood in his life. I decided to get closer to God and the people around me to ask for answer. To try and understand why things happen. The church has been supportive and helped me get more involved in kids with alcoholic parents. I let them know they are not alone in the World, and no matter how bad it may seem it’s just God testing their faith and they must remain strong. I still pray every day for my father to get the help he needs, and I ask God to look after him. That is the best I can do.
As a mom of 4 older children, 2 of who are more wayward, I have to say that I pray for them a lot, I talk to them each chance I am given as they hardly like to hear that they might be wrong in their doings. But I always try to love them and accept them as my own children but that the sin issues are not accepted and always try to bring them around to seeing the Lord’s being there to forgive and that I too will be always forgiving to them. #Loving #Forgiving #Compassionate
Blessings
Linda
Wanda, you are such an inspiration to me. I have loved reading your amazing books. Thank you so much.
Roberta
For me I can feel like whole family left me. I’m disabled and live on my own but I need help with a lot of things. Things around my home such as cleaning, I can’t drive so have to depend on someone getting groceries, doctor appointments etc. I’m pretty much homebound and I can go a week two weeks or longer and hear from no one in my family or have them stop by to see how I’m doing do I need anything. When I call they can’t either talk or talk long because they are busy I feel like I’m intruding. Yet if they need something from me they call no or little small talk and when they are done asking they get off the phone. I don’t know why I have a phone. I do what they need help with. I have a neighbor that helps me some and Social Service helps with some. I have talked to them about it which I think God would have me do and I’ve learned to except it and go with it but it would be nice to get a call asking how I am do I need anything. I’m glad I like to read I can escape and travel through them. I love the Amish books most and I think families could take a page out of their book when it comes to families. Love tour books and thanks for letting me spout off.
I have never had a family member leave home in a hurtful way.
I think that God would want is to forgive a person who does this. Even though it would be hurtful to us, we must think of the phrase, “What would Jesus do?.
Two of my sister’s had a falling out. One sister later moved to another state. For a long time the sister who stayed here wouldn’t talk to her or about her. When our neice had a child the two made up and became great friends as well as sisters. I think God sent the baby to show the sisters how to love again.
I have family that does that alot and only comes around when they need money. It makes me very upset but I don’t say anything. God wants us to treat them as we would want to be treated.
Not a family member but a friend that I got really close to. We talked everyday and saw each other often and then all of a sudden she stopped talking to me and didn’t come around. About a year later she texted me like nothing ever happened. We became close again but not long after that she started asking for stuff and money. She started asking for money/stuff all the time and only talking to me when she wanted something then found out she had stole from me. I found out she was having some problems with addiction. I hope she gets the help she needs. We don’t talk anymore. 🙁
I have family members that only come around when they need help with something. And everyone calls me when someone’s hurt or needs prayer. Because they know Ill pray for and help anyone in need, I always pray no matter anyway . I feel this is what Jesus expects of me I feel blessed if I’m able to help..
Wanda, I really enjoy reading your books and would love to win the books that you are giving away. No family is perfect but I love and appreciate my family and am thankful to the Lord for all of them. Thank you for your wonderful writing.
In addition to prayer, I would strongly encourage the family to guard against enabling the person that only returns in time of need. A GREAT book on this is “Boundries ” by Cloud/Townsend.
Our family has not experienced this. However I do see it happen in church families as well.
I love your books and look forward to reading this one!
We have family members that have not talked to us for year now because of unforgiveness. My kids are hurt the most from this and it is sad to see.
I haven’t had to personally deal w/ a family member leaving on bad terms (well my children anyway!) But I think that God would have us pray for them and be willing to welcome them home.
Unfortunately, we do have a family member that only calls or comes around when they want something. This person has caused a lot of heartache in the family for many years. We always want to forgive and forget and yet, the person continues to hurt the family.
I haven’t dealt with this, as most of my family members have passed. I cherish family I do have. God wants us to treat others as we would want to be treated.
I’ve been hurt by close family members and have one sibling who is very vengeful and jealous. We recently lost our Mother and it’s sad that none of us kids can get along with this person.
I am looking forward to reading this series. I have been a fan for year’s. My husband lost his sight due to Diabetes and I recently began reading your books out loud to him. He enjoys them as much as I do. I usually read about an hour before bedtime. We are currently reading through the Brides of Webster County series. Its a treat since we live very near Seymour and Webster County.
Can’t wait to read it.
Sadly I have a 40 year old daughter who pushes me out of her life when I don’t cater to what she thinks I should do(she is an alcoholic who won’t admit she is),but then “for show” she will come back into my life and play the loving daughter to make herself look good. It hurts so much at times but I have learned to forgive her and pray a lot and just put her and the situation in God’s hands.
I really enjoy your books so much,and love being able to just lose myself in them and the Amish lives. Looking forward to the new Prairie State series.
Love all your books. Amish fiction are the only fiction books I read!
Luckily my family has always been close. My sister and I are still very close and talk everyday. I plan to move back to Michigan to be closer to her when I retire.
Forgive so that you can be forgiven. It’s easy to quote or say, but seems hard for me to practice. Yet every time I give my unforgiveness to God & offer forgiveness, it’s as if a huge boulder has left. It may not make the problem go away, but I can deal with it better knowing that if God has forgiven me my sins, who am I to withhold it because I think I’m better. I’m not, my sin is just different from theirs.
i have a family member that only comes to see me when she wants something. God wants us to love that person anyways.some day by me being nice she will be to.
I have a brother who only calls when he wants something. It’s very frustrating. I give in each time because I don’t want to have a breach in my family but sometimes I just wish he’d come to hang out. Thank God I’m a christian or we would not be communicating. It’s hard for my parents too. He comes to birthdays and such but stays for only a short time and is usually on his phone the whole time.
My daughter has decided not to include me in her life. I wondered far too long what I did to deserve this kind of behavior. I blamed myself. During this period of time, I prayed to the Lord to guide me. I even asked what I did. He gave me the wisdom to stop blaming myself. I am now at peace. She made the decision. I will always be her mother. I will always love her.
My family is very religious and traditional, but we have quite a few that are “wayward”. They usually come around for family holidays and get togethers, but mostly just when they need something. I try to remember that we are to be the example of God’s love and kindness. They are still our family and still souls. We choose to reach them through love and compassion.
“You catch more bees with honey than vinegar.”
This has happened to me before and it hurts so bad! Thank you Wanda for this giveaway. Love reading your books! You are a wonderful Author!
My family is very small so we all usually get along. But even during the bad times, we always seem to drift together again! You are one of my favorite authors!
Yes when I left Calif i thought my kids were grown and own their own and that i could do something big as they had excluded me in everything, Well that went the reverse my grandma passed and the man married to her was her seceond husband and he ran to his side of the family of course with all the money that was suppposed to be the grandkids. He knows I am disabled but he didn’t care anymore. The one situation after another now the big one comes my daughter calls and she is having another baby and the other 2 she has are with diff people. I almost fell to the floor. She is in a homeless shelter in a big city and see no pronlem she is 38 I see alot she isnt; with anyone and she is begging the father of the baby and it isn’t right. She told her daughter and she is upset and I don;t blame her and she is a copycat of my mo, and i ended in foster home. Well she first told me it was to late now find out she is less than 3 mo but sick all the tim.e. I pray for her all day and think of her what is she going to do with another that she isn’t raising the others. So So sad
My heart breaks for families that don’t get along. In my own family, in the past, I had a daughter who only came around when she wanted money. If I told her no I was berated. Not a good choice since, I would tell her to leave, although my heart was breaking. It grieved me to watch her grow more distant with each passing day. It has been through life’s consequences that she has had a change in attitude and sought forgiveness for her actions. I relied on the promise of God that my child would come back to the faith she was raised in. “Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
We should treat our wayward family members with love. We will reach them through much prayer and compassion. We need to love the sinner and not the sin. For instance, in my daughter’s case I would not give her money but I did pay for her groceries so I can insure she had food to eat. By doing this, she wasn’t able to spend the money on alcohol.
Your books have helped me through a very stressful year dealing with my husband’s health issues. The Amish stories are my escape, thank you so much for your books!
Having adopted a daughter who deals with issues of abandonment and abuse by her birth family members, I can relate to the question. While she’s grown and living away from home now, she continues to choose self-destructive behaviors and to be extremely needy both emotionally and physically. My husband and I have continued a loving relationship with her, but we’ve established some boundaries to help her take more responsibility for actions. We’ve engaged her services to clean our house, do yard work or other projects when she repeatedly returns wanting money. We pray that she’ll experience the love of our heavenly Father through our earthly love and continued relationship with her.
All of your books are amazing!!! I would love to get my hands on this series. I absolutely love reading your books they help me to relax and get everything off my mind when I read them.
I am thankful that my four brothers, my four sisters and I loved and cared for each other. We did not always agree on everything, but we accepted each other’s differences. Death has claimed two of my brothers, one of my sisters, and several other family members. We remain a family that loves and cares for one another. I am thankful that my family ties are strong and that I do not have wayward siblings. If that time ever comes, I hope that my faith is strong enough to continue to love, care and pray for them.
I have had this happen in my family,My son has decided that he doesn’t want to see me or have anything to do with me but won’t explain to me why he feels the way he does. I figure that he will someday come around again to the way he was, we are very loving and caring for each other. But I do know families that it has happened to and it is a hard situation. My heart breaks for them and others that go through that. I think God would want us to be able to love and get along with our family and our friends too. Even though they go through rough times or what the reason is, we should love them and help them. Your books are great and I would love to read more of them. I plan on getting more when I can. I pray that one day I will have a relationship with my son again. I just love reading your journal every month. They are beautiful writings just like your books.
It’s sad when families don’t get along. Know of a family now that mother & daughter aren’t speaking. I just hope & pray they get this settled before something happens. Life is too short to hold grudges.
Our family is in a situation as my brother that was kind of left on our lap 5 years ago. He’s in a nursing home and his 2 children have abandoned him. We, his 3 sister’s have watched over him all these years with a happy heart. We feel that he was put here for us to love and watch over him. Right now he lies in a hospital bed with a broken hip and may have surgery as early as tomorrow. It is difficult to extend love and forgiveness to his children. Nevertheless this is not for us to judge. Please pray for us. Thank you.
I haven’t had family members to leave. But there have been times of comments being said that were hurtful. As a Christian, I must forgive and continue to love as God does for His children. If a family would leave and return, I would welcome them back like the prodigal son’s father did in the Word of God. Life is a vapo so no bitterness or broken relationship is worth having negative thoughts and feelings within or toward someone else. God bless.
I’m divorced & my ex-husband disowned our daughter on her wedding day. He died about 14 months ago not having been in touch with our daughter for over 20 years & had only seen her once (since the divorce when she was 16 months old) for an hour when she was 17. He never knew he had two awesome grandsons. Unfortunately, that was his choice. He lost out on a relationship with his daughter & his grandsons. But our daughter also lost out on having a relationship with her father because his “mom told him not to pursue custody” when we went through the divorce. He didn’t even try to work out having joint custody. He just walked away completely & didn’t even contribute financially to help when she was growing up except for the court-ordered $50 per month. Since he passed our daughter is the one left having to deal with his estate (not that she’ll realize much from it). My daughter & I are very close, but I know she felt the loss of not having her father in her life. She has had to put out thousands of dollars because of dealing with his estate. I just hope & pray that she will be able to recoup what she has put out & has come to terms with her loss. I believe God would have us pray for & love our family members who have deserted the family. It’s hard, though, to keep opening our hearts to them & keep getting hurt when they do the same thing all over again. Love your books Wanda. Thanks for keeping us entertained.
I have 4 sisters and sometimes even now we can get into disagreements and be mad at each other over trivial things. I can’t say that any of us has left or used the others. We can count on each other to be there when we need help even if we are mad. I have been blessed when I see the problems some other family’s have.
I wish that all familys could get along,unfortation there so that done,sometime mine just come around when want something.thank for letting me entry your contest
My oldest daughter left with a boy at 18 and broke our hearts but that was a very long time agao and Thank God she wasn’t gonr long and came home. We waited and prayed and kept on loving her. For me, that’s all we could do.
Yes,along the road,or path we stumble an bruising happens,might be family or church separation,might no be “sin” ,just a growth path towards the Father in Heaven,but away from the traditions of men. Oh,the hurt of healing,even as years past your walk towards forgiving/forgiveness,might never be the joyous fruit expected,it still might let you feel a hunger for a renewed fellowship of your kin,people the likeness you reflect.The test of time,the walk of love will add a balm that will bring peace,not as the world’s,but one that is lived out in actions.Blessings linda Gerhardt
Love your newsletter and love all your books cant wait to read your new ones!
Wanda,
I love your books! They fill a void in my heart & the characters become friends! It was so much fun meeting
You at the book signing, Oct 5th, in Berlin, Ohio!
HAPPY FALL BLESSINGS!