Wanda’s Journal

Assumptions

A few weeks ago, while I was doing a book signing in Florida, an Amish woman came up to me and said she didn’t think she could read my books because they were fiction and not true stories. I explained to her that although my books are fiction, they are based on true-to-life situations, and said it’s my hope that the stories I write will help someone going through a difficult time. I also mentioned that I incorporate Bible verses in my novels to show how God can help us through unexpected or troubling situations. The woman’s face softened, but then she pointed to the cover of one of my books lying on the table. “I don’t like the fact that you have Amish people on the cover.” I explained that the cover models are not Amish, but professional models dressed in Amish clothes. She seemed surprised and said she had just assumed the people on the covers were Amish. The woman thanked me for answering her questions and explaining things that she’d never realized before. Then with a smile on her face, she bought two books and asked me to autograph them for her.

Have you ever assumed something and then later found out that what you had thought wasn’t true? Or has someone you know ever said they had thought something about you that wasn’t true? How did you handle the situation?

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70 Comments

  1. I nicely cleared up the confusion. The person was sometimes reseptive and sometimes not very reseptve. Told them if they wanted to talk to let me know. I tried my best.

  2. You asked about if we ever assumed something. My answer is yes and it has gotten me in trouble. I complained about someone attitude and later said to myself. I am looking at this from my point of view… What If I were in that person shoes. I caught myself and asked God for forgiveness. I want to try and be better then that.

    1. Yes, I have made an assumption based on something I was told. When I realized I had indeed received wrong information I went to the person and apologized. It not only made me feel better but the other person accepted the apology and said they were happy we had cleared the air.

  3. I’m reading the 1st book and I’m so much enjoying it. I can’t wait to read the 2nd and 3rd book

  4. I Love to read about Amish communities, but I don’t like reading about all the non-Amish folk that make up most of the stories anymore; so, I don’t read as much about them as I used to. I just assumed Amish fiction would be based mostly around Amish characters. I know they have English drivers, but sometimes the fiction stories are less about the Amish and their community and families and more about the English folk. I still love to follow along on your website!

  5. Yes, I have assumed things and then found them to not be true. God has really helped me with this! I taught high school for 35 years and God helped me to take each student as if I knew nothing about them. Nothing another teacher or student said about a student was held against them.
    I love reading your books. I met you once at a play in Ohio. Have a blessed day!

  6. I must say, that was a very sweet encounter. It was obvious that you allayed her fears as she posed them in a very sincere manner. I was more impressed with the manner of the exchange than the subject matter. You both did so well! 😉

  7. Have I ever assumed something and later found out it wasn’t true? I have. My reaction was to remind myself not to jump to conclusions or judgment so fast. It humbles me and makes me wonder what other people assume about me or my situations.

  8. I can’t think of an “incorrect” assumption experience. Always best to listen, ask questions if needed, and learn.

  9. Happy April! I know I have wrongly assumed things about people and God showed me differently. A dear friend of mine told me after we became friends that she never thought we’d be friends-for one thing she thought I was acting snobbish. She realized I’m just shy and not very outgoing. Funny thing is she is the same way and we ended up having a great friendship!

  10. I love your books. I saw it I. Berlin Ohio and addicting to them now.
    Amish country in Ohio is my happy place.

  11. I am enjoying the first book! Purchased 1 & 2 when I met you at the Der Dutchman in Sarasota. Looking forward to 2 & 3! Was so nice meeting you and getting my books signed.

  12. I will be helping my son and daughter in law- who will be taking their beloved pet to have put down. Please keep them in your prayers. Darcey, was a great dog, but his time has ended. I know that some people may not believe that dogs go to heaven, but I do.

  13. Often In my younger days I have made the tragic mistake if assuming something was true and then found out later it was not. As I have gotten older I have learned not to accept things as they appear and to ask questions rather than make assumptions. It is a lesson well learned.

  14. Yes, I think most people have assumed something at one time or another and frequently it does get one into trouble.
    I have enjoyed your books for many years. and look forward to many more years of reading them. Thanks for the opportunity to try to win some of them.

  15. yes it happen to me and none of it was true. I even had one of her friends that told her it wasn’t true. It hurt really bad. She caused a big mess.

  16. I’m sure I have assumed something but off hand I can’t think. But about 20 years ago someone assumed and STILL assumes the same wrong thing about me. But she proceded to tell others and they believed it until I was able to tell them. They understood. Which was a relief to me. It hurt me that they were refusing to talk to me because of the lie. I haven’t talked to the one who accused me for a spell now. I don’t think she remembers because sadly she now has beginning stage of Alztimers. I had talked several times to her to explain the situation. I even apologized for something that wasn’t my fault. I’ve forgiven her. But it was very hurtful.

  17. Since my retirement, I have enjoyed reading books of the Amish way of life…it’s so refreshing to read them…before I moved recently, I lived less than 2 hours from Sugarcreek in Ohio…such a joy to visit that area & visit the shops….loved the buggy ride that I got to go on…

  18. Yes I have assumed something about someone or a situation but God and Pray help me through my thoughts and decisions . Remember don’t believe rumors or everything you see or heard The best way is find the truth through Prsy and God. I love reading your books gives me a sense of peace.

  19. I recently assumed something about a fellow believer, then found out how untrue it was, for once, I listen to the Holy spirit, or I would be asking forgiveness.

  20. I have assumed about people and have had people assume about me. I have tried to never assume anymore and have come to the realization it’s more important what God knows about me then what others think about me.

  21. I know I have assumed stuff and if I remember, I was always the way to get in trouble. Like, my son was divorced from his first wife about 3 years ago. I made the statement in front of my son, we always told you not to marry her. My son, tells me, I never said that to him. He is happily married to his other high school sweetheart /

  22. Yes, I have assumed things about people that wasn’t true. But then I thought you know, God made us all different, so why would what I was assuming about this person be true, especially since I did’t know them that well. I took the time to get to know this person and found out my assumptions were way off based. So now I try to get to know a person and then their is no need for me to assume, because I know the person.

  23. I think we have all found ourselves in this type of situation. It’s very easy to let our minds take over and feel something that isn’t true. It is easy to assume things and takes work to get to the bottom of things. I am trying to do better and if I feel something in a certain situation I now just ask. It’s better to ask them to torment yourself. With grace for others and prayer we can overcome these situations.

  24. I have personally witnessed someone who i thought was one way and found out later she was just the opposite, nothing at all like she let on to me, it is hurtful n very disapointing

  25. That was a great story and shows us that we should never jump to conclusions and quick judgements. You explained things to her so nicely.. I am glad her questions were answered and she felt it was acceptable to her to purchase your books. I’m sure she will love them as I have for years.

  26. I’ve seen many people assume something about a person’s personality but been wrong because the person did not want to share their medical problems that caused them to behave in a way that they really didn’t want.

  27. I’ve always enjoyed reading and I’m glad the Amish women asked the questions she didn’t understand and I hope she will enjoy those books as well as most of us. Yes, we do assume too much and it is good to find out the truth. I believe this can happen to any and all of us. I know it has to me and right now I can’t think of any incident.

  28. I have been a reader of Wanda Brunstetter for several years. I get a book and just can’t put it down, Can’t wait to get Book 2 of Sugarcreek Surprise. Just love reading about the Amish people.

  29. Yes I have found myself in that situation. I think it’s only human nature. I also think that a lot of people find themselves in that exact situation. Not everyone handles it like you did with Grace. I

  30. I believe as people it is easy to judge people before we know them but we all have to work harder to be good Christians and try to see the good in everyone and do our best not to judge people before we know them.

  31. I love to read your books, and find them true to life. While I’m far from being Amish, the books always have a lesson that we English, can apply.

  32. Of course, and it can often cause misunderstandings. But that’s the human condition in this world. I think it is important that we increase our awareness and decide to be less judgmental.

  33. Oh yes! I have made false assumptions several times. It is always hard to eat humble pie and apologize but that is what I make myself do. I have noticed many times that the assumptions are caused by a misunderstanding or lack of sufficient information. I have been on the other side too where people have assumed things about me. It is very painful. It is best to always remember that we have no idea what people are going through and we should extend to them the grace that God has extended to us.

  34. It’s easy to agree with someone about why we shouldn’t like so and so. I like to greet these “tagged” folks with joy and kill them with kindness.

  35. I assumed someone was a show off ,but when I saw them appearing on television, they were not.
    Marilyn

  36. When I was in school I misjudged some of my classmates. I realized later they were nice and friendly.
    Marion

  37. I too am guilty of assuming things about people And then finding out that I was so wrong. I have to ask God for forgiveness and help to stop assuming things before knowing the truth.

  38. Have to admit more often than I wish!
    I intentionally stop and think first!
    LOL!
    Looking forward to your next book on
    Sugar creek !!
    Really enjoy your books!
    We still remain in Sarasota a great place be during winter.
    We saw your play Half Stitched at Carlisle
    With my Sister… we laughed !!!

  39. I have assumed things and then found out I was incorrect. This taught me that it is easy to jump to conclusions and I am now very cautious about checking out the facts first. I have had people jump to conclusions about me. I gently explained the truth. They were shocked and appreciated the explanation.

  40. It is so easy to make assumptions. Our first inclination is to only see a situation from our point of view….what WE think. It is only when we see it from another’s point of view or gather more facts that the truth is revealed.

  41. Yes I’m guilty of making an assumption of someone that wasn’t true after I got over my self and took the time to really get to know them. They weren’t any thing like I thought even though we didn’t become close friends we are friends and can talk about God and hope to find the answers we are looking for. Thank you for all your books I have so many and really enjoy them all.

  42. Yes, I do think sometimes we all assume one thing or another! I try not to do that! Thank you for your wonderful books Please enter me in the contest Thank You Happy Easter and Blessings To you and your Family!

  43. When I was younger, I assumed someone I knew was aloof and not very friendly. When I got to know the person through a team activity, I realized I was wrong. She was actually very nice, just shy. This taught me to get to know others before forming opinions.

  44. I have experienced both. I have assumed and people have assumed about me.

    When I assumed I thought someone was behaving the way they were because they thought high of themselves and in reality that person was trying to just fit in with all the people around her. She was nervous and scared in starting a new job. It was a good thing I talked to that person after awhile and realized my assumption of them was not what it was.

    When they assumed about me, well they had made a conclusion of their own thinking and placed it on me. But without even trying to find out the truth. And just decided to make up their mind about me and that is it.

    It truly is not a good thing to assume, our assumptions can lead us to hurting people, getting us in trouble and not be a great friend to someone in need.

  45. It’s all too easy to make instant assumptions about people based on their looks or actions. We should wait until we get the facts before forming an opinion. Things are often not what they seem.

  46. Yes it happened to me.We live close to a small rural town and one of my neighbors that I thought was a good friend started a rumor about something that happened in our family.It was completely false but it didn’t take long to spread.I’m sure there are people who still believe it.Gossip is just like a bad fire-once it starts you can’t put it out.I forgave her but it’s so hard to forget when she didn’t see anything wrong in what she did.

  47. I so enjoy reading your book. When I finish them I put them in a box, when it’s full I donate them to goodwill so others can enjoy them.

  48. I have experienced both, the assuming and those assuming things. Life is heart, we all need God in our lives to guide us and help us be kind.

  49. I experience both situations. When I am home and a situation comes up, it is assumed that I am wrong without a doubt. This is probably why I feel people deserve a second “first” impression with me. We can all have our own struggles and may not mean to snap or be rude . We have a rule at work between us co-workers who are also friends… don’t assume someone was mad if they answered you snippy. We are all o so busy and under stress. We will realize it and come back to hug it out. We are a great team. This world has enough violence and anger.I don’t feel God had this in his plan.

  50. I try not to make assumptions about people I don’t know. All that does is set them up to make my assumptions become a reality whether true or not. People show their true selves eventually without my help.

    The way you handled that Amish woman was exemplary… you were kind, non-judgemental, and both of you came out a winner!

  51. Yes, I know that this has happened to me before. I pray and hope that it all gets resolved one way or another.

  52. I absolutely love reading Wanda’s books. They are filled with clean and interesting characters. Wanda’s storytelling gift is so enjiyed.

  53. Yes, I often assume things that turn out not to be true. I have a vivid imagination and it gets away from me at times. The funniest assumption about me was at my place of work. I told a work mate a joke one day and she looked at me real funny and said ” Golly, I thought you were a preachers wife, the way you were always so quiet!.” We laughed and laughed!

  54. I mostly ignore things. I don’t like confrontation. If someone wants to talk I just go about my business. Now with my immediate family I will most of the time tell them what I think.

  55. I have to say I am addicted to your books. I love the life the Amish live, and often wish I had been born Amish. I believe they have it right. They are not a prideful people, as so many of us are. Keep writing about the Amish, and I’ll keep reading.

  56. I have made assumptions about people as well as have had assumptions made about me. I try to set the record straight but at times people just don’t want to listen. If I’m at fault I try my best to make things right. If the assumption is made about me I try to tell them the truth about the situation. If they won’t listen or believe me, I remember that it doesn’t matter what they think. What matters is I know the truth and more importantly God knows the truth.

  57. I’m really enjoying reading your new book. When I read the your books I feel like like I’m closer to God. I learn so much theu your books

  58. I found some of your earlier written books at a discount store. And lm loving them. I will pass them forward to my sister after I finish them. May God bless you and your family this Easter. He is Risen🙏

  59. Dear Wanda, Do you ever travel to the northern part of Michigan where there are Amish families?
    I visit up by Gladwin county and there use to be a place where a lady and her children would make weaved baskets and sell them. I thought this might be an area you may enjoy exploring. I was up there in April but I did not get to visit this family and I know they have moved but I have to find them once again. It was her children who she taught to make basket and they would sign them on the bottom. Many of our Quilting group would purchase these items.

  60. Too many things we hear today are not true. When I hear something about someone before I continue to pass it on, I go to the source.
    I speak to the person it is about. I say “I heard …..” I don’t say from who, when, or where I heard the statements because I don’t want to cause conflict between people.
    If the person replies, “I know where you heard that from because I only told one person.”
    Then I consider I did them a favor. They know not to tell that person anything anymore if they want it kept confidential.