Wanda’s Journal

Condolences

When my mother passed away recently, I found comfort in the condolences of others, through the flowers, cards, and notes they sent, as well as phone calls and personal contact. Just a hug or a simple, “I’m praying for you,” helped so much during the difficult time. In addition to the comfort I received from family and friends, I was reminded of the verse of scripture in Isaiah 66:13 that says, “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you.” Through the encouragement of others, I have felt the Lord’s presence and comfort during the days following my mother’s death.

It also gave me comfort to know that my mom is no longer suffering and is at peace with the Lord. Because she was a Christian, I know I will see her again some day.

What are some ways others have encouraged you during the loss of a loved one? How have you offered your condolences to someone during their time of grief?

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21 Comments

  1. Wanda..My father passed away when I was 18, him and I were very close, it was very hard dealing with his death, I clung onto my mother so much..I went to his graveside everyday for a very long time, and talked to him. And as I still had my mother, her and I became best friends..her and my father were married 42 years before his passing, she helped me as I helped her deal with the death of my father…As I lost my mother in 1991..I then knew I lost about everything, although I have 5 older brother, no sisters, to talk to as a close friend…But, I did it all over again, going to the gravesite, talking to not only my mother, but to my father as well…Pretty hard dealing with the death of your parents..So as time and life goes on, I keep them in my prayers and thoughts, as 1 day, i’ll be with them again…

  2. I think by letting folks who have lost loved ones know that I am praying that God will comfort them in their sorry helps them a great deal.

  3. Dear Wanda, I know your heart is heavy at this time and you are feeling great loss. I truly believe a Mother is the first earthly person who loves us. She is the one who feels the first movement of her child. She is usually the one who is with us during our sicknesses and our heartaches…. the one who took care of all of our scrapes and cuts. Back in the day, she was the one who welcomed us home from school with a snack and a hug. Though we eventually married and moved away, whether close by or across the country, we were able to keep in contact by telephone or cards and letters. Many of us had several children who needed most of our attention. I am sure at times, our mothers felt they were now in a different position for our attention and affections. But I know with my mother, there was never a day went by that I did not get my 9 P.M. phone call. My mother was totally bedridden and had dementia the last two years of her life. But the day that she crossed over through Heaven’s Gates, I realized that I would never hear her loving and kind voice again during the rest of my days on earth.

    I am so sure that the coming days will be very hard. It is through God’s love, comfort and strength, and the sharing of your heart and memories, that your heart will heal. I am sure your readers and supporters will not tire about reading about your mother and the relationship that you both shared. I am sure she was an awesome woman as she produced a daughter of that quality.

    Wanda, my prayers are for God to comfort you and your family, and for Him to draw each one closer to Himself.

    May God Bless you and comfort your heart.

  4. my condolences to you right now Wanda,Most people mourn a person
    s death true but in reality we don’t really die but go onto another part of life in heaven.You’re mom is now happy in heaven with our Lord Jesus and God.Some day you’ll be back together with her.I know it hurts right now but as time goes by the sting will fade away over time.I lost my grandma to panceriatic cancer.God bless you Wanda and thanks for sharing your very wonderful stories.God bless you and your family..

  5. It will be 21 years this month since my Mom & 26 Feb.since Dad passed way . I’m so glad I’ll see them again some sweet day . Many people called , sent cards , brought food , neighbors collected money and gave a love gift . It was good to see many friends & family during calling hours . Many people came a long way across the country through a really bad snow & ice storm to my dad’s funeral . They had to stay at a Turn Pike rest aria for a day but made it on time for the funeral . Both times God & Many people Blessed me & our family with so much love .

    3 years the 28th of Oct a close friend suddenly passed away leaving 4 young children . I’ve been talking to the daughter as often as I can on Face book , trying to lift her up when things get to her . We no longer live in the same town so I don’t get to see the kids . They live in a foster home . I hope to keep in contact with then as much as possible . Just talking helps .

  6. Wanda,

    There really wasn’t much anyone could do or say to help heal me from the death of my grandmother. It was only when I moved from CA to VA and gave myself and heart over to our Lord. It was when His grace was poured out onto me and gave me the healing that I so much needed. It is amazing that our Lord His word can give us the peace and healing we need in such a time of hurt.

  7. The eleventh of this month my dad will be gone 3 yrs.My mother has been gone for 12 1/2 yrs 🙁 What got me through it was I knew they were not suffering any longer and that Lord willing I will see them again.I got a lot of comfort when someone would say they were praying for my family and a couple of hugs didn’t hurt.I pray that God will bring you and your family comfort in your loss 🙂

  8. Wanda, My dad died suddenly of a massive heart attack. We couldn’t let the word out until we found our children who were with friends while we took him to the hospital so within a couple of hours after we let out the word, my house was full of “friends.” Some started cleaning my kitchen and defrosting the freezer part of my refrigerator. So much food was brought in that I didn’t have room in my frig for all of it and friends took some. The funeral home is next door to our home and the mortician’s wife had to come back over here twice because she said that Tommy had felt so close to my dad and was so disturbed at this death, that he just forgot to get all the information.
    We live in a small community and the church was filled for the funeral. I knew where my dad’s spirit was and the service was a celebration of his life. Family members came from many miles away. I am an only child so my mother then depended upon my husband and me for help in so many ways. I had to be a support for her instead of the other way around but that’s OK. That’s fine; I’m glad I could be there for her. And then she lived with us for over 20 years until her death at the age of almost 99.
    Through both of their deaths, my friends were constant. God showed us so much love and support through them and through our church family.
    This is too long already so I’ll close but it is just so very hard to express in a short version how much everyone supported us.

  9. Wanda, You have been on my prayer list as an author for quite sometime….now, I am also praying for you in your grief. We have had several deaths in our family over the years. Some
    by tragic accidents of different kinds. I truly believe it is God that gets us through them and am
    so thankful for the prayers of others during those times. So in return…I have many on my prayer
    list that are grieving loss of loved ones.

  10. Just wanted to also say I know what it is to loose someone, several years ago I lost my Grandma, she was my world an so was My GRANDPA, I loved them so much an it has been over forty years but I still talk an tell them things, I feel them here with me. I some times think I hear my Grandma, saying be nice. My grandpa just listens to me I know he does. He spoiled me so much. Well will add your mom to my prayers.
    A loyal reader Karen Smith

  11. My Dad passed away recently he was diagnosed with lung cancer stages 4 in March on my brothers birthday and died in Sept right after our little brothers birthday its hard losing our loved ones but I think the only thing that could hurt worse them losing a parent would be losing a child…I’m only seventeen but sometimes I think its harder on older people to lose a mother or father then it is on the young people because over the many many years of having someone in your life ends up making a bigger voild when their gone. God bless you and your family and I hope he lets you find the same peace of knowing we will all be joined again 4ever…sooner then we’ll ever understand.

    1. Jerryca, you are very wise beyond your years. I am very sorry for the loss of your father. It is indeed hard for anyone to lose a loved one, whether a parent, child, sibling or spouse. Though it is true that older people have a hard time losing a parent, we know that we do not have that long until we will see them again. Most of us have hopefully made many happy memories that help us to carry that person around in our minds. Younger people may not have as many memories, but they hopefully will have several more years before they see the loved one again. But that is many more years to miss the loved one. So it is a two edged sword.

      I lost my son at the age of 40 when he was hit by a car. Thankfully, many Christian friends prayed over me. God showed me that I was to reach out to others who lost their children. God gave me a lot of wisdom in seeing that I could not possibly miss my son as much as a mother who lost a young child who lived in her home and was with her all of the time. I would not walk into my house, expecting to see my son, where the mother of a young child would look at the empty bedroom or the kitchen chair that had been filled with her child. Yes, I miss my son so much. I am trusting that I will see him again. I do not have that many more years on earth, but I still have family here that I am not ready to leave.

      Jerryca, I will pray for your family. I know your hearts are all healing. You are a strong young woman who I am sure brings strength to your mother and brothers. Always be open with your feelings and talk about your dad to your brothers and your mom. We all need to talk and in doing so, the memory of your loved one will be with you always. God Bless you and your family.

  12. I am late to extend my sympathy, Wanda, but it is most sincere. I lost my mother 34 years ago, and I still miss her. Even though I was fortunate to go to college and follow a career, the important things in life were the things she taught me. May God give you comfort and strength as you go through these difficult days.

    Donna

  13. Wanda, its hard when you loose a loved one but what makes it easy to get through this dark hour in our lives is the Lord and those who have been where you have and some just has that special way about them that makes you feel better. by making you laugh and reminds you to lean on God and seek Him for comfort not them cause they are human. God can tough you and heal your broken heart that seems that you’ll never find joy again.
    this is what happen to me when my grandma died. before she died a friends mom died and every sunday i seen her and i gave her a hug and asked how she was doing and then when gram died she didnt come to me or asked how i was just one out of the whole church. she told me what i wrote above. i pray for you wanda and God bless you!

  14. When my husband passed away he had many friends who helped me get through this early end of our marriage..Unfortunately I do not get to join in on parties that they still have with couples. I have many dreams of him and this is very comforting. I hope that others may have this experience when they loose someone close to them.

  15. When my mother passed away we as a family claimed a Scripture verse each week to meditate on…thankful for a godly mother and family

  16. Wanda, my sympathy in the loss of your Mother. I too, just lost my Mom. She passed Oct. 5, 2012. She was a wonderful woman, as I’m sure your Mom was too. It’s going to be a difficult Christmas this year, but she was ready to go be with my Dad. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless! Sincerely, Peg O.

  17. I for one have not suffered great loss, but I offer encouragement to those who have. I pray every night for grieving hearts, and I often will call on them and offer a listening ear to their troubles. Though they don’t always tell me whats on their mind, I love to know that I’ve helped in some way.