Regrets
With a New Year beginning, and an old year left behind, it’s sometimes easier to focus on a person’s regrets about not doing all the things they had planned to do in the previous year. Or some might dwell upon the regrets of not doing or saying what they should have in the old year, rather than focusing on the opportunity to say or do things in a better way during the New Year.
After losing my husband last summer, which I’m sure, is part of the grieving process, there have been a few times when I’ve thought about some things I could have said or done differently over the years, or even during the days shortly before his passing. But then, I must call myself up short, knowing that I did my best, and so I change my focus to remembering many of the good times we had together, and how we kept the promises we had made to each other when we said our wedding vows. I also think about the last words Richard and I spoke to each other, less than 24 hours before his death. We kissed one final time, and both said, “I love you.” That is most certainly worth focusing on, don’t you think?
How about you? Are you looking forward to what lies ahead in the New Year, and leaving any regrets from the previous year behind?
In Philippians 3:13&14, this is what God’s Word says about regrets: “but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”
I have regrets every single year since April 2, 2009 whenever my dad passed away! Unfortunately, I was in a very, very bad DV situation with my hubs. He had me locked up like a prisoner, because I was divorcing him. He wouldn’t let me go to the hospital to see my dad while he was still awake & coherent! I’ve regretted that ever since. Eventually, he took me, but my dad was already in an induced coma. I talked to him and told him I was there, that I loved him, that I would be okay, and it was okay for him to go, because even though I would miss him so very much, I didn’t want him suffering anymore. As I told my dad these th8ngs he moved & I felt like he heard me, and I hope he did. I prayed to God that I was forgiven for the situation of not being there as I wanted & should have been.
I have regrets every single year since April 2, 2009 whenever my dad passed away! Unfortunately, I was in a very, very bad DV situation with my hubs. He had me locked up like a prisoner, because I was divorcing him. He wouldn’t let me go to the hospital to see my dad while he was still awake & coherent! I’ve regretted that ever since. Eventually, he took me, but my dad was already in an induced coma. I talked to him and told him I was there, that I loved him, that I would be okay, and it was okay for him to go, because even though I would miss him so very much, I didn’t want him suffering anymore. As I told my dad these things he moved & I felt like he heard me, and I hope he did. I prayed to God that I was forgiven for the situation of not being there as I wanted & should have been.
Merry Christmas and best wishes for the New Year. We were so sorry to hear about Richard, but know he is always with you.
I’m ready for the new year and I hope everyone has health and happiness. can’t wait to read your new book. Take care
Even though my mom has now been gone for over 35 years there are still times when I am reminded of things I said to her as a teenager that I am sorry for now. Or things I wish I had done with her but didn’t. As an adult my mom became my best friend and I loved her and did the best I could to take care of her as her illness progressed and then she passed away. I love the reminder of the scripture you shared and I will be repeating that to Satan when he tries to bring up those past feelings. Not today Satan.
Thank you for sharing. You are a blessing.
Kathy Reynolds
Looking forward to the new year and working on my regrets that I have had for many years now. When my dad got sick and passed back in 2019, I thought by making amends with my family would help but there are so many regrets that I need to overcome. I enjoy reading your books and listening to the audiobooks as well. Thank you for your novels I learn so much from them.
What a beautiful jar of remembering your dear husband. So many memories are wrapped up in a life where you spent more of it being married than being single. I do understand. 62 years is a long time but of course never enough. I was blessed with 49 and 1/2 years before my husband passed in 2022. Some lock everything away and don’t want to remember. But the remembering to me is the most important part of grieving. Remember to laugh, cry, smile as you will continue to remember even the smallest things. Sometimes tears will fill your eyes at the most unusual, out of the blue, for absolutely no reason it seems, times, but it’s okay. This Thanksgiving my son who celebrated his 50th birthday last February, as he usually has since my husband died, sat at the head of the table. He has also taken over the role of having the dinner prayer whenever we’re together. He has done it before but somehow this Thanksgiving Day it hit me and as I open my eyes after the prayers with tears in my eyes, my daughter of 41 was doing the same thing for the same reason.
May God continue to bring love and happiness. And yes, those tears, as you begin the new 2026 year. May you be surrounded by friends and families.
Chris Gray
Happy new year Wanda! I no longer make resolutions either. I do think back over the past year and to the things I had hoped to accomplish but did not. I hope to do better in the new year. I always try to do my best at whatever I try to do. I’m sure I can always try a little harder each time. Thank you for sharing!!
So very sorry for the loss of your beloved Richard this past year. We all have regrets but we need to learn to let go of the past and focus on what we can change in the present instead of wasting our energy on what could have been. Here’s to a happy and healthy new year!
Dear Wanda
When I think about regrets, I’m conflicted. God has given us the ability to remember and to evaluate ourselves based on what we know and have learned. It’s an ongoing process. So, in a sense we all will regret not having the knowledge, or fortitude or wisdom to make the best choices. However, it’s these very “mistakes” or failures that remind us that we are not God, we are human, made from the dust and prone toward wandering. The simple fact that we do make good choices and change behaviors and attitudes in light of the Scriptures is a miracle! A work of the Holy Spirit. Praise God for it. Our regrets remind us we are not perfect, we need a Savior- Jesus. They also are a reminder that we arenot home- heaven awaits us!
I’m thankful for your example of a life and marriage devoted to God. You are an inspiration to me and my family and we know many others.
We are praying for you during this season of grieving and transition.
Sending love in Jesus name
It seems like you had a fine husband with so many great adventures. Focus on the positive things,I am sure there are many!
I’m looking forward to spending more time with our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren in this new year. Can never have too much family time. May God bless us all in 2026.
Happy New Year, Wanda.
May this New Year bring many new memories with your grandchildren as they grow. I agree regrets should be placed in the past and left there. I am looking forward to more travels with my husband and dog in 2026.
All my regrets are buried under the blood of Jesus!! PTL!!!!
“I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”
Philippians 3:14 MSG
Happy New Year! Yes, I have many regrets from this past year, but like the verse you shared above says I must leave them behind me and move forward toward the future. It is only with the Lord’s help that I’m able to do anything for Him. God Bless!
I am looking forward to what is coming in the new year. I have regrets of running myself so thin that I feel like I didn’t give enough time to my kids.This year I will be focusing fully on them.
Happy New Year! I’m like you, I always think back to things I’ve done and said and know that I could have handled things differently, especially when it’s about my late husband. I need to shift my focus like you mentioned. I know it helps me to think of others and how I can be a better servant to those around me. I feel closer to God when I talk to him and thank him for my many blessings.
Thank you for the scripture reference. It clearly tells us not to look back. We all know we can’t change the past. All we can do is our best every single day. Like so many others, my focus needs to be on respecting this body God had given me-eating cleaner, getting daily exercise, and ensuring I make time to read the Bible and write in my prayer journal. I also have a journal that I write in. I want my grandkids to be able to read them someday. Happy New Year and thank you for sharing your gift.
I definitely have regrets. Things I should have done or said, but I try to do the best I can do everyday and keep pressing forward with Jesus by my side. This is a new year and I am focusing on the everyday blessings 🫶
Thank you for sharing that scripture, it’s so true.
Many Blessings to you🤗
April Prater
Hi Wanda
I’m looking forward to reading your new books.
Happy New Year Wanda!
I love to read all of your books.
Have a good weekend.
Emma
Another year….although we have regrets from the previous year of things we didn’t accomplish or sad events, we look forward to a New Year moving forward for Jesus. Our “right hand member” in our church passed this past year within 4 months of getting sick. It has been a shock to our church but already God has provided new members. My husband as pastor has had so much on him and with age (80) and health issues I pray for more young couples to come and be willing to help. The future of our churches lies in the youth so they need to be trained in the House God to take a stand.
I pray God uses me and my family to bring others to Jesus.
Thanks for blessing us Wanda. Praying for you!
Wanda,
Loss weighs heavy on our hearts, this past year we lost a beloved dog and it has been a struggle as I miss her everyday. While this is no where near close to losing a spouse, it is my reality. I cannot even imagine what pain the loss of my husband would bring.
As I look forward to 2026, we are focused on the graduation of our daughter from High School and helping
her prepare for new beginnings.
Our faith and blessings are with you and I look forward to each new book as the stories you tell are uplifting for me.
As I look back at 2025 I recognize there are things I wish I would have done differently. I also see wins with intentional changes I made to my health and wellness. As I look ahead to 2026, I am asking for God’s leading and wisdom daily, to help me run this race well. To help me be who He has called me to be and to equip me to do what He has called me to do. Grateful for the blessing of each new day.
Last year was a very hard year. My brother Died June of 2024. He died of a drug overdose. We were never really close, but he was my brother, and I regret not being in contact or with him. It has been very hard. He lived in California I lived in Michigan. They said it was an accidental overdose, but we feel His girlfriend had something to do with it. I’m going to try my very best to stay closer to God and listen to him more thoroughly. This is not a resolution. This is just something I should’ve been doing and I need to get back doing it when my husband and daughter were killed 15 years ago I was having a hard time being close to people because it hurts so bad to lose them, but I know now God has a plan and part of the plan is for me to get closer to people and family, share the word and pray more for them so I’m going to hold closer to God
listen harder enjoy closer times with my friends and family.
Happy new year, Wanda! Praying for a blessed start to 2026 for you and your family. Thank you for sharing.
I am kind of but not really. I have a doctor appointment coming up on January 6 to discuss what to do about my bone that is not healing. The surgeon’s physician assistant asked me if I would be open to another surgery. I told her that I may be open to another one. I’ll wait and see what the doctor says.
I am looking forward to a new year and the chance to get further into God’s word. I try not to look back but focus on what improvements I can make going forward.
Thank you for this! 🥹🩷 these verses are the ones the Lord gave me for 2026. Bless you!
Wanda, the first holidays without our loved one are the hardest. For me when my father died in 2006 after I took care of him for the 7 months of his life, after we got the diagnosis of lung cancer. Before he passed away, the cancer had metastasized into his liver and brain. He wanted my mother to keep working in order to have their health insurance. So I kept taking care of him. My dad and I had always had a special bond. The last night was very hard for me, he was struggling to breathe and I ended up giving him the morphine ever 15 minutes per the hospice nurses orders. It was very, very hard. Finally I called my brother and sister in law and they came. I woke my mom up in the living room to let her know what was happening. She got to be there with him at the end and also for the last week before he passed. I felt really awful at first about what I had to do , but with Gods grace and mercy we were able to help him pass from this world into eternity with our Lord. It still gives me heartaches at times, but I just remember that God put me there for a purpose. That purpose was to take care of His child, my father, and by doing so and obeying, I was honoring both my Fathers, and I was blessed for doing so.
Thank you for sending me your newsletters each month. I enjoy reading them very much and knowing you are working through the grieving process with Jesus’ love for us.
I really liked the jar Richard found and filled with marbles. It’s a wonderful way to honor him by decorating it with the change of seasons and holidays. Don’t forget to decorate it wonderfully for Richard’s birthday. I know by doing so it gives you comfort. I really enjoyed reading the 3 books you are personally signing and giving away next month.
Thank you for being there each and every month. Until then, I’m sending you Happy New Year wishes and most of all God’s love and mine. In Christ’s love, Kimmie Ecret
816 Main St. Canton
Salem, NJ 08079-3405
God bless you in this New Year. My husband and I have been married 59 years and I can’t imagine how you must feel. But, with God’s help and strength we are able to go on. This is the third time today I have been reminded of this passage from Phillipians 3. Guess that means God is wanting me to remember to let go of the past. Thank you for all your wonderful books and for the wisdom you share in them and your emails.
I know I can’t change the pass. But as each day passes I will pray for my family to get right with God. I don’t make new year resolutions anymore because I know who holds tomorrow!
I am sorry for your loss, and life changes in 2025… memories pop up unexpectedly–some make us smile, & some make us cry… GOD knows. When my Mother was dying of cancer, my kind brother in law (a pastor of a small church) told me to pray for words of wisdom to say “goodbye” to my Mother–I was able to have time alone w/ her to thank her for being a good Mom, and for the rough times I gave her when I was a teen (I wasn’t a bad kid, just kind of mouthy at times!) & she said, “Oh, that’s all right.” Too many times I’ve read or heard about someone who wished for just 5 more minutes w/ their loved one, to make things “right.” Thank you for sharing your final words w/ Richard!
I’m sorry for the loss of your husband Wanda. When our loved ones gain their wings, it leaves such a hole in our hearts. Including our pets. I had a lot of loss in 2025 and know that I’m getting closer to losing my Dad. He’ll be 85 this coming June, if he makes it that long.
I’m a new follower of your journal and your books and am loving them both. Your words are so thought provoking, comforting and blessed. Thank you.
I hope that your 2026 brings you peace and happiness as you move forward without Richard (that’s my dad’s name too by the way. Richard David Brees). God bless and I look forward to the day where I can meet you in person.
Happy new year and God bless always,
Lori Brees
I’m looking forward to fewer hard things, if that’s what the Lord will have for me this year. 2025 was a personally very difficult year. I too lost my husband, and also had to navigate a lot of details with his illness leading up to that.
I have a regret in that I may have helped someone in need just a little more. In 2026 if I see a need, I will act on it immediately.
I will be the most kind I can be to anyone I see or speak to in 2026.
I will also spend more time reading the Bible.
God will see us through the future.
Many Prayers continued for you Wanda and Family Happy New Year I can’t wait to read your new books
I am looking forward to 2026 as a year to seek joy. Last year was difficult. I lost close family members in 2024 and my happiness. I struggled to find purpose. God has been showing me sunshine and blessings. I am choosing to wake up each day seeking His love and grace as I share the blessings He has bestowed upon me.
I pray for your peace. Your marriage is an inspiration to all of us to keep trying.
In Gods Love,
Heidi
the marble jar of Richard’s marbles is a beautiful treasure memory, that you can change your flowers in it to match the seasons. this was the first Christmas without my husband as he got to ill for me to continue as his care giver, he is in a Veterans Nursing Home. covid outbreak there , yes after a week he caught it , then rushed hospital he coded, he had a pneumonia and other infections, we chose feeding tube when he couldn’t swallow. thus it causes them to get pneumonia ofen, aspirate into lungs. I have leaned on my Jesus daily, have too to get through my difficult periods. he back in hospital bad pneumonia now, and I seek comfort crocheting stuff animals and dolls for children in Shriners Hospital. reading your wonderful books, and my Bible. Love you, happy New Year.
I understand you are grieving and the grieving process is different for everyone & Since the unexpected Death of my Dad in early November it’s made the Holiday season extremely difficult. I have had trouble sleeping and been angry at him as well as my mom who passed away in 2022. Because at times I feel like I’m grieving for both of them and it’s been extremely difficult.
I have regrets from this past year as my relationship of 12 years has come to an end. I’m sad, mad, hurt and hopeful all at the same time. I wish things could be different and I always feel like I could have said something or done something differently but if I’m being honest it would have turned out any different. God has a plan for me and is with me through all this and I’m resting in him this 2026 year!
I am glad for the end of 2025. It was a difficult year for me and my family. I am thankful to God for all his blessings, but I am hoping that we won’t have to struggle so much. I also have some home organization projects I wish to complete. I am excited to start the year accomplishing what I can.
I try not to look back at regrets but strive to do better and ask the Lord’s forgiveness for mistakes. I’m 67 and looking forward to a new year.
Over my life I’ve collected many regrets. But over the past 2 years or so God has been really working in my heart. To have hope in Him and leave eveything that troubles me at His feet. It’s so hard for me to just give it all to God, but I know that’s what He wants. And God is good, so if He’s telling me to do something, it must be for good. I have hope that this new year God will use me to bring forth His goodness to those around me! To God be all the glory!!
I am looking forward to the new year. I’m sure God has wonderful plans for me. What a surprise it will be! I do not have any regrets. I believe everything happens for a reason for God’s good. I am content with my life and may not be in this place if not for going through the difficult periods.
We all have regrets, I’m sure & Imin that group too. My regret is wasting so much time this year, due to illness, pain & depression. My prayers are this year is a better one fir all.
I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t have any regrets. I do have many, but I have more “I wish…” . Like, I wish I could be with my brother who was just diagnosed with lung cancer on Christmas day.
I pray you have a better 2026.
What a light you are through your journal and books! You are remaining positive through your stages of grief! We can do that when we know Jesus Christ as our personal Savior!
Thank you for sharing. I am so looking forward to this new year. This is really the first time that I have really thought about what I’d like to work on and make it better as well. With GODs grace I need to spend time on me spiritually, mentally, physically.
I am sure we all have regrets. I like what you said how your focus on the good times. This year I am working on shifting my focus. Bring an empty nester for sometime and my husband who has had a stroke a little of 2 years ago has been emotionally hard at times. Focusing on what is good is the key. Thank you for your kind words and your writing is amazing! Would love to meet you someday. That is on my bucket list. Be blessed in the new year.
The Bible verse you quoted is an excellent one to remind us to keep our eyes looking forward on Jesus! Of course, we always want to examine our lives to make sure that we are living in a manner pleasing to the Lord, but we can’t wallow in regrets. I know how much you must miss your dear husband. How wonderful that you can continue writing your wonderful books that are such a blessing to so many!
In this new year I wish the best outcomes for my children and the health for my family. I would be lost without my mother. it’s really starting to settle in that I won’t have her forever the last couple months.
Happy New Year!
I lost my precious Husband of 47 wonderful years in July 2024, 3 days after our 47th Anniversary..The last words he said to me was- I Love You.. I will never forget it.. Precious memories is what I try and focus on.. As I’m sure you do as well.. I am so sorry for your loss..
Janice
I am going to work on forgiving my husband for his mistake 2 years ago. . He make a mistake than hurt me more than he will ever know. we been married for 48 yrs. I was in the hospital for 6 days. I came home and that night, He called the police on me, while I was asleep, thinking i was going to hurt myself. i was woken by the police. They were in our bedroom, shining a light in my face to wake me up. By doing this, He broken my trust in him, my faith in him, and my security in him.
I have had a hard time letting this go and to trust him again. I believe he may have the start of dementia, he doesn’t remember making the call. He has never and will never apologize for making. the call. seeing he don’t remember doing it.
His family tells me, he wasnt in his right mind.
Lord, please help me forgive him and stop being bitter towards him.
I just want my life back as it was before this happened. which I know it never will be the same. I Love him but just don’t have faith, trust and security in him. I used to be fun loving person, now I’m cautious of everything. Something in the back of my head. is waiting for it to happen again.
I cast my Burdens on the Lord. I am looking forward to the new year.
I guess there are some regrets in everything we do or didn’t do. My husband passed away 4 years ago and I can think of things I wish we had done or didn’t do but at the time you do what you think is right. It’s a mighty lonely life when you lose that person you spent almost 46 years with. I can understand the grief. It’s still a struggle even though we got kids. They come to see me every week but it’s just not the same as someone being with you all the time.
What a wonderful way to begin the new year with Philippians 3:13&14! This will be the theme for me in 2026; to press onward toward the calling God has for me. I pray for God’s will for my days ahead and pray I will let Him order my days. Thank you for sharing from your heart. Many blessings for you and your family in 2026!
What a wonderful way to begin the new year with Philippians 3:13&14! This will be the theme for me in 2026; to press onward toward the calling God has for me. I pray for God’s will for my days ahead and pray I will let Him order my days. Thank you for sharing from your heart. Many blessings for you and your family in 2026!
I am looking forward to a new year! I turn 30 this year, so as scary as that might be, it’s also a good reminder that life is short. I know I’ll continue to make mistakes because I’m human, but I want to do my best not to live with regrets.
I am praying for you as you mourn. Thank you for sharing the passage in Philippians. It is a beautiful reminder of what God wants us to do! Happy New Year!
Wanda,
Thank you so much for the wonderful reminder about letting go of regret. I am praying for you and your family as you mourn. May God give you many blessings in the new year.
There have been times that I have given in to regretting and that is a black hole which is hard to climb out of. Thinking of God’s promises and remembering the good things He has done for us helps me to keep my mind in the right place. I usually don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but I do try to think of how I can move forward and be closer to God and grow in Him. Some regrets are incredibly hard to forget, but with God’s help I want to try to turn them into something positive.
I enjoy reading your books. I’m finishing The Protector. I’m also a widow since March 8, 2025. It’s a daily struggle.
Thanks for the reminder not to focus on regrets. I have more than a few but I try to remind myself that there’s nothing I can do about them except learn from them and do better in the future!
I think everyone has regrets at one time or another. I try not to dwell on them and promise myself to do better. I hope you had a pleasant Christmas and I hope you have a happy New Year.
Wanda, Happy New Year. I know you miss Richard very much. But remember he is with you every day. I do have some New Year’s resolutions, and I pray that I can’t continue them through out the year.
Wanda, Happy New Year. I know you miss Richard very much. But remember he is with you every day. i lost my Mom and I miss her every single day. I do have some New Year’s resolutions, and I pray that I can continue them through out the year.
I think that we all have regrets about what we could have or should have done, when we loose a loved one. So, we do the best we can at that time. I loved hearing you say that your husband’s last words were ” I love you.”. While watching Family Feud, the question was, how many times a week so you tell your spouse you love them. I was amazed that the answer was a pitiful 2 or 3 times. My spouse and I always say I love you at least twice a day. I hope that we can be like you and your husband and have the opportunity to have that last I Love You. You keep focus on those wonderful words and many loving memories.
You are such an example and give good advice. Teaching from your life’s experiences, things you have gone through. We can certainly learn from you. Your witness is encouraging. You are definitely right about putting old regrets behind. Satan loves to use those to discourage us. We need to try and remember as we are going through life not to do things that we will later regret. When you are young, inexperienced and selfish it is easier to do these things unless you’ve had training. We definitely need to try and keep a Christlike spirit. It is not always easy.
A great scripture verse to encourage us, Philippians 3:13 &14
Thank you for sharing these things with us.
I forgot to say something about the marble jar. I think it is wonderful how you use it. That is a wonderful memory keepsake from him.
My resolution for 2026 is to be a friend to all I meet. I love going into a store and smile at all I see and see how many smiles I get back. Surprisingly there are many smiles returned. My favorite Bible verse is found in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
My regrets from last year is I didn’t spend as much time with God as I should have. In 2026, I have committed to read God’s Word at least four times a week and spend more time with him.
I don’t think it’s possible to live in this world and not have regrets. However, the enemy is who wants us to focus on them. We need to try our best to focus on God and what He says about us. He says we are delivered and set free and there is no more condemnation.
I have so many regrets that I rehash over and over in my mind and that I lose sleep over. I wish I could stop doing this and move on from things that were said or left unsaid. I plan to work on this in the new year so that I can hopefully get more sleep.
You’re right, so right that we or I tend to look back on what I wish I had done differently during the year or years past. What I wish I had been able to tell my mom and dad before they passed on and my brother just a year ago. But, I know ,they know, that I loved them and was so happy to be together in our family.
I am going to look forrward and focus on what God would have me say and do for others, whether it be my own family, church family or my friends.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Yes I am looking forward to the new year. To see what God has planned for me in the new year. I have some regrets but can’t change the past but learn from it.
I am thankful for my continuing health and the people who got me through it. I am thankful for my faith in God. I regret alot of things and am trying to make life better.
I’m looking forward to the new year. My faith is stronger than ever. I get to spend time with my grandchildren, son and daughter in law. I lost my grandma and two aunts this past year. So I’m making sure I tell the ones I love that I love them.
Thinking about the good instead of regrets helps me stay at peace.
I hope for a new year of happiness and good health. I hope to be able to help my aging parents more. Maybe we can take a trip down to Lancaster to visit Amish country.
I’d like to get out more and do things. My anxiety sometimes keeps me from doing the things that I used to love doing. This year I’m not going to let it control me.
Wanda I so appreciate hearing your words of wisdom and reminding me to lean on Jesus more. Again I’m sorry for your loss of your dear husband but knowing he’s with the Lord in heaven is a comfort. I’m an avid reader and I especially love all of your books. Thank you for sharing your stories with the rest of the world.