The Power of Forgiveness
In my current work in progress, I deal in part with the topic of forgiveness. One thing I have learned over the years is that without forgiveness there is no emotional or spiritual healing. Even our physical bodies can be affected when we hold grudges or harbor ill feelings towards someone who has wronged us.
On October 2, 2006, a terrible tragedy that shocked the world occurred in a small Pennsylvania Amish community. An English man, who lived and worked in the area, entered an Amish schoolhouse and shot ten girls. Five were killed and five were seriously injured. Everyone in the community, the children’s families most of all, were stunned and deeply wounded by this senseless, unbelievable act. Instead of anger and retribution, however, the families of the dead and injured chose to forgive the man who had done the evil deed. A few days after the attack I was asked by a reporter if it was true that the Amish would really forgive the shooter, and if so, how could that be? I replied: “It is true that the Amish will forgive the man, but this kind of forgiveness only comes from God.”
The Amish community not only forgave the shooter, but they raised money to help the man’s wife and children through the ordeal. As surprising as it might have seemed to the world, half of the mourners at the gunman’s funeral were Amish. The Amish knew they had a choice to make. They could either harbor resentment or choose to forgive. They knew that without forgiveness, their hearts would never heal.
Is there someone you need to forgive? Is there something you need to seek forgiveness for? Why not do that today?
The Amish sent a powerful message to the world in their act of forgiven they helped the killers widow. In my 68 years there have been many times people have hurt me and I’m sure that I may have been the one needing forgiveness throughout the years also. I find that prayer is a big help in forgiving someone.
I totally agree that with forgiveness comes peace of mind, heart and soul. There is someone I need to forgive. Although they passed away many years ago, I still find it difficult to completely forgive that person for the terrible things they did to me. I still struggle with it and pray constantly to find that peace of mind.
Wanda, I love the Amish. In fact, one of your books was the first book I had ever read about the Amish, and I thoroughly love your books. I hope I will win.
Thanks.
The Amish sent forth to the world what God through His Son taught us about forgiveness. I had a brother who walked off and left my family,. My Mother was a widow with 8 children and my brother was my hero, father figure. I was only 9 when he left home. For manny many years I could not understand how he could do this. As I grew up and got older and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior I realized in order to grow in my Christian Faith I was harboring u forgiveness in my hear . I had to ask for forgiveness for my bitterness and then made a trip to my brother to ask for forgiveness for my bitterness. It is a hard thing to do but to be right with God it is what we have to do. Without my forgiving him how could I expect God to forgive me. Thank you Wanda for your encouraging words.
Everytime I hear about or see a reminder of the schoolhouse murders, such as the movie based on the tragedy, it brings tears and a new respect for the Amish community involved. It also reminds me that, as a Christian, it is so important and so necessary to remember that God is not only listening but can take away the anguish of the things we go through. Forgiveness seems complicated and simple at the same time but, foremost, it is a great journey. I am praying that God will give me what it takes to go that journey each time I need it and that can be a lot sometimes. “Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee”. Love that line!!
After I read this post and think of other things that happened in the world I find it a bit selfish to hold on to my anger. Forgiveness is something I try so hard to work on on a daily basis because I can’t separate forgiveness with forgetting. This was just a reminder for me that I need to work harder and come at this issue with an open heart instead of one clouded with hate and fear.
It is coincidental, or is it, that this is the journal entry for this month. I was thinking about my 19 year old niece, to whom I have always been especially close, this morning and how we had a falling out last summer. She and I didn’t agree on a series of family issues and she totally cut me off. I was heartbroken and tried to amend the break, but haven’t made progress. I was, and am, determined to heal this wound and just today, I vowed to write her a letter and seek her forgiveness and understanding. I made some bad choices last year and said some things that I should have kept to myself, and so I need to ask, again for forgiveness. Life is so short to carry around anger. I have a brother to whom I have also been estranged and have reached out on numerous occasions to him to make amends, and he will have no part of me. I honestly feel I have done what I can to reconcile with him, and simply need to wait to hear from him. I don’t like at all being estranged from folks, especially family, so this is my opportunity to reconcile with my niece and I am determined to mend this rift.
Forgiveness can be very difficult to over come. I’ve had an ordeal that I’ve been overcoming with my husband and I for the last 11 years and I’ve chosen to forgive but being in the flesh sin can remind us and rear its ugly head from time to time and I have to stop and think if God forgave him so am I to. It makes our marriage stronger to see what with God we can overcome.
I have found that unless I forgive those I perceive to have wronged me, I am the one who suffers the most. Forgiveness brings a sense of calm that is otherwise missing. I keep reminding myself that I have also unwittingly wronged others so to receive forgiveness I must also give forgiveness.
Holding hate or bitterness only hurts the one who holds on to those things. Letting go and forgiving are the only ways to heal.
Forgiveness comes in many forms. I have found that it is easy to forgive but even better to not let yourself be put in a situation of being wronged over and over. That is not good for anyone involved! I say Let go and Let GOD. He truly shows us the way to forgiveness in our hearts and souls.
Many times in the news you hear where there was a tragedy and the people who were hurt the most forgave the person who did the crime. I often think if that person did that to my family would i be that brave. My answer is always i would let god tell me. I believe with my prayers during the day and going to church on a regular basis and reading a daily guidepost that god helps me in many ways that i didn’t even think to thank him or that i let a time slip. There are times that i ask him why since i have a nerve disease throughout my body and a few things are visably disfigured why do people look at the outside of me and not the inside of me. My praying and my pups are the things that help me get thru the days. Many times I am sad or down and i go to them for guidance to ask where are the friends i used to have. It is then that i realize forgiveness comes in!
Yes, I have had to ask for forgiveness and I have forgiven. I include in my prayers each night for God to help me to forgive those who have sinned against me, as we can say we forgive but the forgetting is so NOT easy and when it comes to mind does that mean that we haven’t forgiven?
wfnren at aol dot com
What happened in the Pennsylvania community was truly shocking and not something that a person could forgive, but God tells us that we need to forgive one another after they have sinned against us. This is a lesson one must learn from the Amish as they are ready to forgive and give a hand to their neighbor to help them, even after such a tragedy. We can learn a lot from this Amish community!
When my mother was fighting cancer back in 2002 and 2003 our minister thought it was more important to go to school and become a teacher than to visit the sick from our church. The UCC minister and my brother’s minister visited her more than our own minister. I had a hard time trying to forgive him for this. It took 10 years but I finally was able to forgive him. It weighed me down until I took that step. I don’t know how those families could forgive the shooter but they have a special place in Heaven waiting for them. I wish I could be more like them. I keep working on it and with God’s help hope I can get better at being able to forgive people.
It took me many years to forgive the boy driving the car that killed my son. He was not paying attention to the road and hit a tree. My son never recovered from the massive injuries. I had been trying to get my son to stay away from the boy. He told me this boy needed a friend and he was the only friend he had. That ran through my mind whenever I thought of that boy. I don’t feel I was a very good mother when my children were growing up. One thing that cannot be disputed. I would have protected my children with my life. When my son was declared legally dead a part of me died that day. The only thing that kept me going was my girls. I gave up my faith in God for a few years afterwards. I thank God everyday now that I still have my girls and allowing me to wake up and be able to tell them I loved them.
To say the words, “I forgive you”, is sometimes so very difficult. But it is only through the mercy of the Lord that we are capable of doing so. When we truly forgive someone, and we can think on them or the incident, or what may have happened, and realize that it no longer bothers us or causes us pain, then we know that we have honestly fully forgiven them. We then become free and the released burden is no longer ours to bear. The one set free is not the other individual, but ourselves. I greatly respect the Amish who forgive.
The Amish are a strong example of God’s love. The schoolhouse tragedy is an example of that in current times. The Bible says to love one another. We should forgive too.
Forgiving someone who has wronged you is a very difficult thing to do. In order to do it one must pray to God to enlighten you and open your heart to his great love. The people of Pennsylvania were unbelivable to show forgiveness to the man who killed their children and to then help his wife and children. God must have shown them the light. With love and many prayers hopefully more of us can find that difficult path to forgiveness in our daily lives.
What an example of following God’s commandment to forgive! Forgiveness is something that doesn’t always come easy to me…just when I think I have forgiven something and put it behind me, I’m reminded of it and feel the old hurt and anger arising again. I find myself sometimes forgiving the same things over and over. But God’s mercies are new every day, and by His grace and mercy we are able to forgive. Thank you so much for telling the story of that community, and sharing their example with me.
Your book sounds like one I know I would enjoy reading.
To be honest and I hate to admit it but, I don’t think I could forgive someone that shot my child. If it had been an accident I think I would. I guess I have a ways to go and a lot more praying to do. I do think it was wonderful how they didn’t blame his wife and helped her.
The Amish have shown us in the Pennsylvania tragedy what true forgiveness is. I enjoy reading all your books.
The world is filled with a lot of hate, and terror these days. We as Christians need to pray for our country and the world. We need to forgive even if it Is hard to do, because God wants us to forgive.
I sometimes find it difficult to forgive someone who harms me or my loved ones. That’s why I find it difficult how the Amish in Pennsylvania did so quickly. I do usually manage to forgive, but it usually takes me some time.
Forgiveness of yourself is possibly the hardest thing to do. I’m not sure why that is, maybe we hold ourselves too responsible for things that happen.. I don’t seem to have a problem forgiving others.
I have learned much about forgiveness from the Amish. I know in my life I am thankful that I am able to forgive almost immediately. Holding on the grudges way heavy on me and God has given me the love and strength for people to be able to forgive without even thinking about it most of the time. I have been able to make a lot of changes in my life because of a relationship with a sweet Amish lady. Also through your books I always find a renewing of the mind so to speak. Always there is a lesson to be learned.
Thank you for this blog post. I find it to be true. My healing is hampered by the fact that I am still working on forgiving my ex-husband.
Thank you for your ministry.
I have experienced the way unforgiveness can affect your life & the load that can be lifted when you ask God to help you forgive & truly forgive that person.
I also think that you need to forgive so that you can move forward.
Beautifully said about forgiveness.
FORGIVENESS BRINGS ONE PEACE!
Many times I have asked forgiveness for myself and forgiven others. It has not always been easy, but without forgiveness what a miserable life I would have.
Due to a doctor’s negligence our son was born with some handicaps. This was hard to forgive for a while, but I know that I have forgiven and I love my son and he has become an important member in our community from whom many have learned, including myself, about patience and understanding and of course, God’s love for his children,
Forgiveness is hard sometimes but it’s the only thing that sets one free. I hope to be like those Amish that forgave and showed their love.
Forgiveness is very important. My brother and I have hardly spoken since our mothers death. He moved out of state with no address or contacts. I pray for him and his wife at Church each week and hope he is content with his life. It makes me feel close to him through prayer. Anger can hurt you emotionally and physically I believe. Reading your books about the Amish is a great inspiration to me. I feel their way of serving God is the way I would like to serve him also,
Dear Wanda,
I cannot tell you the joy your books give me. Eight yrs. ago I lost my beloved husband Louis to Cancer. He battled for 3 yrs. so bravely. He was an amazing man, husband, Dad & friend. We were both very involved in our small church since l983. He had two very rare types of Cancer and he fought that battle bravely and I was right there by his side from the day we found out. I myself was dx with Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia in the yr. 2,000 after 3 yrs. of hardly being able to get out of bed and doctors having no answers for me..then in 2,000 that’s when I got dx. I was told that there was nothing they could do for me…I joined a support group and found a dr. an hr. away from my home who believed in Fibromyalcia and Chronic Fatigue.. He tried everything out there on me and unfortunately people with this disease often can’t tolerate to many medicines..I am one of them..All the med. did was make me gain A LOT OF WEIGHT..which because of the pain and stress and not being able to exercise I maintain a bad weight… I could barely drive anymore when in June 2004 he got dx with a Huge Mass in the Thymus Gland, THE BATTLE STARTED with a 12 hr. surgery… the tumor was attached to his lung, his heart and detaching it took many, many hrs…much more than the surgeon ever could have imagined… so now I had to do all the driving…we took trial drives to ea. dr. office, ea. hosp. every treatment place he would have to go ahead of time so it would get edged in my mind so I wasn’t so afraid to drive.. He made it through that difficult surgery and then had to undergo stong chemo and radiation following…My Lou wanted me with him and since I would do anything for him I took him to all his treatments…he was so positive…after a 6 month short term disability he wanted to go back to work…he loved his job, he worked with disturbed youths and he loved them and taught them. He started a softball league on his own time so the boys would have something to look forward to and he started and built a Library for these boys…my husband had a very hard life growing up in the Bronx and after getting out of Bronx in his 20’s he dedicated his life to boys who had a hard life like himself….after going through the first surgery and going back to work we had such high hopes…and then they did an MRI and they discovered he had Cancer in his pancreas which had mesestizied and there were no treatments for it… He could try something not tried yet and he was determined he would and he did but these were Chemo pills and what they did to him excruciating..he would projectile vomit every time he took the chemo, then more radiation and every day he lost more and more weight…He started out weighing 185 lbs., before he died he was under 70 lbs. He was skin and bones… to help him I had to stay positive all the time but at night when he was asleep I would drive my car down to our Airport and scream and cry and scream and cry…and then come home and sleep in the back bedroom as he couldn’t sleep with me at this point. But every night before he went to sleep I would go up and lie with him and pray and sometimes read but we prayed a lot… Finally when the vomiting was out of control and doing no good, he decided to stop the Chemo… His co-workers loved him so when he wanted to go to work they would pick him up and bring him home. In the last month the sparkle in his eyes left and the sadness crept in…but he still didn’t complain and he would still try and smile, especially for his grandchildren…his co-workers gave all their vac. time, personal time, and sick time to Louis so that he would remain on the bks so that when he passed I would get a yrs. salary…THEY LOVED HIM AND OUR FAMILY…on the worst ice storm day we ever had, Friday, March 2, 2007 A 2:20 pm he finally smiled and looked at something beautiful which had come to take him to Heaven. My youngest son and I got to see this amazing Grace right before he died.. It was a very tough a 3 yrs. for me with my disease and after he died, my body shut down and everything bad from my disease came out…. We had 31 yrs. of marriage, a happy marriage..he was my best friend and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him… this March 2nd it was 8 hrs. he’s been gone…but in my heart he remains here with me forever… I just turned 65 and my health is not good so after all of this story, The point I’m trying to make is that Reading has saved my life….and Amish books are so good for healing a soul…. I love your writing, I love all your books and I’m so grateful you are such a good writer… I didn’t have a comp. but my oldest son got me a laptop for Christmas and I’m so happy to be able to follow you online…I would love to win the new bk. I just finished reading Dear to Me… and now looking forward to hopefully winning the next book. I can’t afford books but my library gets them for me..but I would love to own a signed copy of your new book…. so I will say a pray I will be picked…I’m sorry this was such a long story but I needed you to know how I get through my nights mostly, with your books…they are such a Blessing to me… I wish I had the money to travel and come to some of the events you have but I don’t. I can’t travel well as I have a very hard time walking. I also adopted from a shelter a part pug/shitzu mix 3 yr. old adorable dog whom I could never leave…Well, Wanda, I pray I did not bore you with my story…it has been a long time since I’ve talked about it and to this day it doesn’t get easier. I will ask the Lord to keep giving you good health and love so that you can continue to brighten peoples lives like you have mine. May God Bless you and yours. Virginia (Ginny) Buccaroni
There are many instances for which I need to ask for forgiveness.
I try to include said requests in all my prayers in hope that I will
find myself the recipient of God’s saving grace.
It’s amazing how forgiving the Amish are. They set a wonderful example for all of us. I have great respect for them.
I very much enjoyed the movie of that tragic event. I have also learned the hard way how NOT having true forgiveness can change your life. My brother had abused me and when the man I married would no longer allow him to abuse me, he refused to be a part of our lives. I told him I forgave him, but we rarely talked and I often missed him in my life. A couple years ago he took his own life. I often wondered if things would have been different if he could have been a part of our lives. I prayed for him often, and only the Lord knows if he accepted Jesus into his life. I still struggle with this and now offer forgiveness readily to anyone and try to keep them uplifted in prayer and in our lives. Thank you Wanda for this wonderful reminder of how the Amish can teach us soooo much.
As I sit here at work on my lunch break and read your latest journal entry, I have tears in my eyes! Your words really struck my heart. Why does it seem so hard to forgive a particular woman that has verbally hurt me so badly, yet the Amish community can forgive someone who shot and killed their children? ? I was raised in the church and know about forgiveness, but I am harboring a very strong dislike for this woman that verbally hurt me in our community. The incident took place over 6 months ago and I still grit my teeth when I drive past her house. I think bad thoughts about her and her family when I hear anyone mention her name. Yes, I need forgiveness for doing these acts and I need to forgive her for what wrong I feel she has done to me. I have indeed tried to talk to her about the incident, yet she wants nothing to do with me. All I can do at this point is ask God to help me, to forgive me, and to bless this woman. I need to forgive her and let it go. Let Go and Let God! Thank you for your words….they were the first step in MY healing.
I guess one of the hardest things I’ve ever done is forgive my father after he passed away. He was an alcoholic and made mine and my mother’s life miserable for so many years. And yet, one of the nicest things he did for me was stay sober the day of my wedding to walk me down the aisle. I was married in August and he passed away the next July of a massive stroke, all due to his drinking and smoking.
This is so true! Forgiveness gives us peace. My cousin was ate up with bitterness for so many years and I kept telling her to forgive her brother in law. But she hated him and she was so sad and miserable, but a long time later, she had forgiven him and it brought her peace before she passed on. By forgiveness we set that person free. Thank you Wanda for all your wisdom!
Wanda….I love your books. I met you last year in Shipshewana. You are such a inspiration.
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things for humans to do, I believe. Pride gets in the way and we feel we are right and the other is wrong. Only God can work in our hearts to help us forgive the ones who have wronged us in our eyes.
My son-in-law drew my daughter away from the Lord years ago and now they have separated and I am finding out how far away from God he is as well as her. It hurts so much and my daughter is not where she should be or was when she was very young. My prayer is for them both to turn to the Lord. I have forgiven them and I pray for them daily.
The tragedy in Nickel Mines is a wonderful example of forgiveness but my understanding is this is the normal way of life for the Amish. Forgiveness is difficult when we are hurting but we become a slave of bitterness and anger if we don’t. I think if you are raised as the Amish to forgive it may become a way of life, whereas most of us see news 24/7 and the world is just not programmed that way and we fall victim to what the world has to say about these things instead of what God reveals in the Bible. Thanks, for the reminder that taking the high road of forgiveness is what we all should do!
As I enter the autumn of my life (if God sees fit to grant me a normal lifespan), I know that I don’t have the time or energy to hold grudges and withhold forgiveness. With our nation’s latest tragedy in the Charleston shootings, we have witnessed continued acts of forgiveness in the Christian community. The Amish certainly exhibit immense forgiving spirits but it isn’t exclusive to their religion.
Forgiveness is rarely an easy thing to do but it is a vital thing to do, not only to heal the relationship (if possible) but ourselves as well. We can find the imperative in Scripture – the best known is in the Lord’s Prayer. This subject has been on my mind as I consider the events of Charleston and the forgiveness offered to the gunman by the victims’ families. Thank you for a timely, and as always, thoughtful post.